I’m a monster

He sent me a text saying he hopes he didn’t make me mad this morning and that he was just trying to cheer me up.

No honey I wasn’t mad. Sometimes we all need to be tickled to wake the grumpiness out. Especially me. So I’m not mad about him bringing the kids in here to disrupt my meditation time. It was a brilliant idea because we all needed to start the morning with giggles and laughter. Because that isn’t usually how we start our mornings.

It felt nice tho. I want there to be more love and laughter and happiness in our little family. I want that so bad. My family was chaotic growing up and I feel like I’m creating that same environment sometimes and I just don’t know how to get out of it. It’s all me. He has to walk on eggshells around me I feel like. I’m the one with the issues, I’m the one unstable and tearing our little family apart but I don’t mean to 😥😥 I’ve realized it’s me because he’s the one who is playing jokes and I’m the one who gets mad and has to shut it down. I find myself getting mad at every little thing he does when he’s just trying to lighten the mood and make things better.