I’m scared

Hi🌸 was looking for a place to vent and found this forum. This is my first time ever trying something like this, not sure how to start 😅 but I just needed to get things for my chest and I have no one to talk to. I’m really scared of….everything. Life has been so difficult for the past few years, and every year it somehow gets worse than the last. It’s so bad that I can feel myself changing, and not in a good way. I’m so tired and stressed all the time, and anxious and worried, I’m beginning to hate everything and everyone. I don’t want to be around people, I’ve distanced myself from my friends, because I don’t seem to have anything good to talk about, and I don’t want to come across as someone who complains all the time. So I just keep to myself, but today I just couldn’t do it anymore, felt like I was gonna explode really. I want to be positive and bright and optimistic, for my siblings and aunt, but I really don’t have anything left in me. Is it okay to be sad?My mum died a few years ago, and I still don’t know how to process that. What do I have to do to feel better?