Have any of you experienced, or heard of….

…men going through a midlife crisis at the age of 32?
I always thought it happened later in life, but maybe not…?
So, in November my son and his wife split up and while they BOTH are being so very immature and acting despicably to each other (it has been so very ugly and nasty!) but my son is exhibiting some VERY disturbing thoughts, desires and actions. He’s not even the man I thought I knew. (For example, the latest is that he is going to just walk away from her AND the kids…says she can have his money, the house, everything in it, the kids…he will give up, and leave them all to some better life which he says they will have without him)
I am trying so very hard to determine whether or not this is really who he is or if it could be something more, something deeper in him.

I am absolutely heartbroken by his behaviours and I feel the need to understand it on some level.
And yes, I am imploring him at every turn to get some therapy/help and fight someone to talk to…I’m not just accepting this as it is, at least not until I have exhausted all options and am left with no other choice but to accept it 🤦‍♀️

Have any of you some insight or wisdom you might share? Something perhaps I hadn’t thought of??
I need some help on this one

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Tatsumi2 · 31-35, M

Relationships are hard. He likely feels trapped. I get it. My gf was a legit narcissist, and living with her for 4 years made me feel the same as your son. I just packed up and left around $10,000 of goods at the house and will be paying her rent for 6 more months, and it is all a good sacrifice simply to be free of her manipulation, lies, and gaslighting and potential poisoning, but diff story.

Maybe hes not the one who needs help. Maybe its the wife. If she is toxic, then his reaxtions sound totally normal to me. He has suffered under her a great deal and simply can't take anymore.

It takes everything I have to not act deplorably towards my ex, meanwhile she's fine acting deplorably towards me. It takes immeasurable strength and endurance to behave honorably in such a situation.

Maybe your son needs understanding, space, and recovery time rather than a blanket judgement of his character.

I am hella projecting though. Of course I dont know the situation or his character or if it really is just him. Maybe he does need help.

But, if he is not accepting help, not much you can do. If someone is hellbound, the only thing you can really do for them is let them make their own choices, live with the consequences, and as youve done: accept it, and just provide support.

If he thinks you're on his side, thats probably going to be better for y'alls relationship, at least.

Good luck. Sounds like a pickle. Im glad i didnt have kids, or get married, because that makes it so nasty and tough. I hope it ends up as well as it can for all involved

P.s. love your username choice