Have any of you experienced, or heard of….

…men going through a midlife crisis at the age of 32?
I always thought it happened later in life, but maybe not…?
So, in November my son and his wife split up and while they BOTH are being so very immature and acting despicably to each other (it has been so very ugly and nasty!) but my son is exhibiting some VERY disturbing thoughts, desires and actions. He’s not even the man I thought I knew. (For example, the latest is that he is going to just walk away from her AND the kids…says she can have his money, the house, everything in it, the kids…he will give up, and leave them all to some better life which he says they will have without him)
I am trying so very hard to determine whether or not this is really who he is or if it could be something more, something deeper in him.

I am absolutely heartbroken by his behaviours and I feel the need to understand it on some level.
And yes, I am imploring him at every turn to get some therapy/help and fight someone to talk to…I’m not just accepting this as it is, at least not until I have exhausted all options and am left with no other choice but to accept it 🤦‍♀️

Have any of you some insight or wisdom you might share? Something perhaps I hadn’t thought of??
I need some help on this one

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

Livingwell · 61-69, M

I don't know if I believe in midlife crisis. Been divorced around that time and never felt the need to be young again. What I think is going on is two people married very young taking on too much responsibility much too fast. When you go from not having any responsibility to married, kids, house and all the stress that comes with it and not being mature enough to handle it (age independent), things will build up and blow up. You know from your own life experiences that no one just walks away. First, you are a father/mother for life regardless of custody meaning financial obligations at the least. The house also has responsibility. He signed for a loan. Even with bank possession, one is still responsible. And there are consequences of divorce itself. Someone needs to sit him down and explain what will happen if he continues this path. He will lose and lose big. There is no such thing as a clean slate here. And any future romance will never accept someone that just walks away. You're marked for life. I hope he wakes up quick.

ImpeccablyImperfect · 51-55, F

@Livingwell Oh me too man. Me too. I am working on getting these things through to him. My first priority right now is those kids. They are going to be so messed up from all this nastiness, I am doing my best to at least try to counter the damages. That’s my priority at this moment.

Livingwell · 61-69, M

@ImpeccablyImperfect You're such a good person. I've always known that. This must be so hard for you. And you are right. Those kids need to come first. They both need to understand that no matter what, the kids come first. And they will have to work together for the rest of their lives for their children. Kids don't get it. But I know you will get through to them. Pls try to not affect your health over this. I know you'll put your heart into this. But keep in mind, sometimes... we have to leave some things to the man upstairs.🤗