Have any of you experienced, or heard of….

…men going through a midlife crisis at the age of 32?
I always thought it happened later in life, but maybe not…?
So, in November my son and his wife split up and while they BOTH are being so very immature and acting despicably to each other (it has been so very ugly and nasty!) but my son is exhibiting some VERY disturbing thoughts, desires and actions. He’s not even the man I thought I knew. (For example, the latest is that he is going to just walk away from her AND the kids…says she can have his money, the house, everything in it, the kids…he will give up, and leave them all to some better life which he says they will have without him)
I am trying so very hard to determine whether or not this is really who he is or if it could be something more, something deeper in him.

I am absolutely heartbroken by his behaviours and I feel the need to understand it on some level.
And yes, I am imploring him at every turn to get some therapy/help and fight someone to talk to…I’m not just accepting this as it is, at least not until I have exhausted all options and am left with no other choice but to accept it 🤦‍♀️

Have any of you some insight or wisdom you might share? Something perhaps I hadn’t thought of??
I need some help on this one

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Harmonium1923 · 51-55, M

You are wise to suggest counseling. It seems like his anger and depression are unfocused now, seeking every possible target. A better understanding of his emotions and what is driving them might help him prioritize what matters most.

NativePortlander1970

@Harmonium1923 I would surmise it's the breakup itself.

Harmonium1923 · 51-55, M

@NativePortlander1970 That’s the catalyst, most likely, but why does he seem to think so little of himself and his kids that he wants to walk away from everything? That’s a deeper and more complex question, I suspect.

NativePortlander1970

@Harmonium1923 You'd be surprised how a even a breakup can affect a person. I had a coworker in the 90's that took his own life, the guy was geniunely happy, he was the guy that smiled and made wvwryone else feel good, he sang along to the music as loud as he could on the factory floor, and he didn't care how bad he sounded, he wasn't that bad, we all heard worse there. But one day he came into work mega fucked up and in a sour mood, his wife left him and took the kids, his mother finally drove her off no matter how much he tried to keep his mother under control, he asked for some time off. Two days later we got word he blew his own brains out.

Harmonium1923 · 51-55, M

@NativePortlander1970 Well, I guess that’s my point. A good therapist or counselor can often help deal with bothering underlying and acute issues before something awful and irreversible happens.

ImpeccablyImperfect · 51-55, F

@Harmonium1923

That’s the catalyst, most likely, but why does he seem to think so little of himself and his kids that he wants to walk away from everything? That’s a deeper and more complex question, I suspect.

yes there seems to be some deeper, underlying issues he’s been struggling with for some time now (I didn’t know these things until this all started coming out) so I believe some therapy for him will be absolutely beneficial…he needs to figure out WHY he feels these things, not just how to act , or not act, on them. My heart just breaks for them all. I want to take the pain away.