Have any of you experienced, or heard of….

…men going through a midlife crisis at the age of 32?
I always thought it happened later in life, but maybe not…?
So, in November my son and his wife split up and while they BOTH are being so very immature and acting despicably to each other (it has been so very ugly and nasty!) but my son is exhibiting some VERY disturbing thoughts, desires and actions. He’s not even the man I thought I knew. (For example, the latest is that he is going to just walk away from her AND the kids…says she can have his money, the house, everything in it, the kids…he will give up, and leave them all to some better life which he says they will have without him)
I am trying so very hard to determine whether or not this is really who he is or if it could be something more, something deeper in him.

I am absolutely heartbroken by his behaviours and I feel the need to understand it on some level.
And yes, I am imploring him at every turn to get some therapy/help and fight someone to talk to…I’m not just accepting this as it is, at least not until I have exhausted all options and am left with no other choice but to accept it 🤦‍♀️

Have any of you some insight or wisdom you might share? Something perhaps I hadn’t thought of??
I need some help on this one

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SW-User

Do you know why they split up?

Sounds like he’s absolutely broken by it all, can bring you to rock bottom, stress from a marriage break up can be devastating.

ImpeccablyImperfect · 51-55, F

@SW-User So, he is the one who wanted out. I love my DIL dearly, we have always had a very non traditional relationship, but we all know (even she does) that she has issues with being controlling and needs everything to be perfect. I believe he just reached his breaking point. He wanted out. And they were trying to be civil and amicable about it, but they are both just too immature emotionally and it just keeps getting uglier and uglier. 💔

SW-User

@ImpeccablyImperfect

How controlling was she? You don’t really know what goes on behind closed doors, my ex was very controlling and very critical, broke my spirit, my mother didn’t know half of what was going on, she loved him but he had two sides, only me and the kids seen, maybe there's way more to it? I hope he gets the help, must be so difficult for you seeing it all fall apart😞💞

ImpeccablyImperfect · 51-55, F

@SW-User yes it certainly seems there was so much more going on than I even knew, despite the closeness I had with my DIL. Even now, during this split, I can clearly see how she tries to ‘control’ things, even how she is trying to control what I say to him and how I’m saying it, in her effort to ensure the outcome she wants. Of course I don’t tell her what I’m saying to him, nor do I tell him what I’m saying to her…but the two of them have twisted and used anything I HAVE said to them and thrown it in the other’s face when they’re worked up 🤦‍♀️ It just needs to stop now. The nastiness and hatred. So I am now stepping in as the middle man, and anything they have to say to each other can go through me.
This way they can have some time to cool off, and they don’t even have to speak to each other for a while. Cool their jets until they can speak without being ugly.

SW-User

@ImpeccablyImperfect
So sad, they both seem angry at not being heard. I hope it improves 🤗