I feel like my oppositional defiant disorder is what’s making me crazy and making my life harder than it needs to be

It really sucks living this way where you constantly feel like you have to find a way to cheat the system with every little thing that you do in life and just always feeling like managers or people of authority in general are cheating you and that you need to look out for yourself. Because again nobody owes you anything. And so that’s why I feel like I have to look out for myself and make sure I am taking care of because I am the only one responsible for myself.