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TheMountainMan · 26-30, M
TinyViolins · 31-35, M
Man, I thought I was the only person that felt that way. I had been moving to a new place every 1-2 years since I was in middle school. I can't even remember all the addresses I've stayed at.
At first it was because of family issues, like you've experienced, but then it just became an instinct. I would always be looking for a new place and justify it by saying it was closer to school, or work, or more affordable, and that made sense. Then I moved from one city to the next because I figured I was young and should travel before settling down, but I never found comfort anywhere.
Looking back, I realized that the insecurity of losing friends, relationships, possessions, status, etc. was what propelled the instinct of finding a new roof. I never found a home because I never felt comfortable anywhere. The feeling of losing it all and starting over became a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I've been living in my current home - well, apartment - for the last 3 years and it's the longest I've ever lived in one place since I started puberty. And even now, I still go light on furniture and gadgets because I'm so used to the idea of having to pack it all up again.
It's emotionally exhausting never having that kind of security, so I feel for you. The burden of not having stability weighs on you and makes it hard to imagine a future.
I think now that you're older, maybe you'll have something to anchor you, like a job, or friends, or favorite places. For me, it was my dog. I live in an area with lots of places to walk her or to let her run free, and it's nice having a reason to stay put.
At first it was because of family issues, like you've experienced, but then it just became an instinct. I would always be looking for a new place and justify it by saying it was closer to school, or work, or more affordable, and that made sense. Then I moved from one city to the next because I figured I was young and should travel before settling down, but I never found comfort anywhere.
Looking back, I realized that the insecurity of losing friends, relationships, possessions, status, etc. was what propelled the instinct of finding a new roof. I never found a home because I never felt comfortable anywhere. The feeling of losing it all and starting over became a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I've been living in my current home - well, apartment - for the last 3 years and it's the longest I've ever lived in one place since I started puberty. And even now, I still go light on furniture and gadgets because I'm so used to the idea of having to pack it all up again.
It's emotionally exhausting never having that kind of security, so I feel for you. The burden of not having stability weighs on you and makes it hard to imagine a future.
I think now that you're older, maybe you'll have something to anchor you, like a job, or friends, or favorite places. For me, it was my dog. I live in an area with lots of places to walk her or to let her run free, and it's nice having a reason to stay put.
OogieBoogie · F
This is sad ....and I'm sorry you're exhausted from it .
But ....there is a beauty within it.
I know the feeling of wanting a forever home...to feel settled .
I've lost two homes to arseholes who couldn't control their addictions.
And I miss my gardens I made.
But life is experience....not possessions.
In fact ...people get addicted to possessions. Possessions define them.
We stay in a place too long and we start to hoard , and tie ourselves to all we own .
Think about all the people who own so much, and have hardly ever moved ....and wonder how they would cope with it all being taken away ?
Most would break .
Do you realise how strong you are?
But ....there is a beauty within it.
I know the feeling of wanting a forever home...to feel settled .
I've lost two homes to arseholes who couldn't control their addictions.
And I miss my gardens I made.
But life is experience....not possessions.
In fact ...people get addicted to possessions. Possessions define them.
We stay in a place too long and we start to hoard , and tie ourselves to all we own .
Think about all the people who own so much, and have hardly ever moved ....and wonder how they would cope with it all being taken away ?
Most would break .
Do you realise how strong you are?
ethereal · F
I’m sorry you feel that way. But I know how you feel. Moving is exhausting — physically, mentally as well as financially.
I’ve had to move with my husband’s family thrice in last 2.5 years. Before that they moved four times, once in the same city. All the other movements were to different cities.
I like new starts, but movement is so tiring that it doesn’t seem like a start. We moved in 2021 back to the same city that we moved away from at the start of 2020. I hate all the junk we carry around from place to place, more than half the things are just useless that no one ever sees.
If moving every now and then bothers you, maybe you can decide to make a place home. Buy a home when it’s possible for you.
The mindset behind this moving too much is because the renters think they’ll save money on rent by moving to a cheaper place, instead of paying the increased rent the next year. But the movement also takes a toll on everyone.
I’ve had to move with my husband’s family thrice in last 2.5 years. Before that they moved four times, once in the same city. All the other movements were to different cities.
I like new starts, but movement is so tiring that it doesn’t seem like a start. We moved in 2021 back to the same city that we moved away from at the start of 2020. I hate all the junk we carry around from place to place, more than half the things are just useless that no one ever sees.
If moving every now and then bothers you, maybe you can decide to make a place home. Buy a home when it’s possible for you.
The mindset behind this moving too much is because the renters think they’ll save money on rent by moving to a cheaper place, instead of paying the increased rent the next year. But the movement also takes a toll on everyone.
Beatbox34 · 31-35, M
@ethereal It is emotionally taxing. Everything gets damaged and there's no escaping to that. You end up scrapping stuff you love because you can't keep carrying them over. I lost friends. I lost a sense of calmness.
It's one of the perks of being poor lol. For me it's a waste of money to keep moving too. It's just more money going down the drain for no reason.
It's one of the perks of being poor lol. For me it's a waste of money to keep moving too. It's just more money going down the drain for no reason.
Somewhereovertherainbow · 46-50, F
Beatbox34 · 31-35, M
@MrAboo I mean. I do blame my dad. He screwed with us purposely to watch us mess up. It's not like he didn't earn well. With his salary, I could buy a place to call home.
But he wanted his vengeance on my mother. So there was no escaping there. He got what he wanted. He actually left us in debt despite earning really well.
But he wanted his vengeance on my mother. So there was no escaping there. He got what he wanted. He actually left us in debt despite earning really well.
MrAboo · 36-40, M
@Beatbox34 Well that's a pretty shitty thing to do. Maybe some side of him didn't want to be taken for granted. My father did well financially, but I remember him saying a few times in the car as he was venting everything's give me this give me that... well the money's going to run out, then what are they going to do? They're in for a rude awakening. He retired from a back injury he got while putting insulation in the ceiling.
Gangstress · 41-45, F
Elevatorpitches · F
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Starsandfire · 31-35, F
Beatbox34 · 31-35, M
@Starsandfire It is. Thank you though 🤗
CrazyMusicLover · 31-35