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Today i will be going to have a colour consultation

As a black woman I've been desperate to try hair colouring on my natural hair. My hair is often curly but for years between age 13 and 25 I would wash blow dry trim and straighten it at the hairdressers.
Most people thought my hair was relaxed. Wrong!

I stopped going to a hairdresser when I was made to feel uncomfortable.
It was a black hairstylist, who was doing rather old styles and techniques. On this particular occassion I asked for a hair cut showing her a photo and well she said it will include layers, but what she did was cut into the hair in such a strange way even my white friends asked me what the hell was she thinking.
Its not that itlooked bad it was just unnecessary to achievethe desired look.

From young ive struggled with hair envy.
My hair was always longer than my friends so although people would say how nice it was people also would try to cut it at school, pour water on it to revert it back to curly. Hairdressers straining my neck by not combing with care.
And trying to cut too much when my mum regularly trimmed my hair in between.


These are black people BTW.

After that experience I'm really careful about who does my hair.

I recently had my hair done and she spent her time, asking me about my parents jobs, whether I live at home and just generally nosey.
I had met her before, at the previous salon but the employer would t allow me to see her. Probably for this reason.

When washing my hair that's where it started, she put too hot a temperature of water on my hair, then when I complained she adjusted it.
The second time she put it too cold.
I got the general vibe that she didn't want me as a client. I contacted her through Instagram as her previous employer rearranged my appointment when I booked with her before, when they saw who I was they told me to see my old stylist despite me saying I specifically booked with this new woman. (Obviously politics i wasn't aware of)

I'm not entirely sure what her problem was, asking me, how do I handle my hair on my own and implying my hair wasn’t clean.

I'd never go back there again.

So today I am trying a new hairdresser, they are European. They specialise in hair colouring and especially seem to have mastered the balayage technique, it doesn't look stripey just soft and natural.

I understand colouring hair requires more training and they should know about all hair.
I did let them know I have afro hair in the booking process so they're prepared.
I am willing to try and see how things go, because I'm tired of being scared of going to the hairdressers.

I'm nervous and excited. Because I want a professional, expert experience, that's what I'm paying for.

Where I working paying customers are treated almost like royalty, I want that too...

I've never been anywhere where they offer you a drink or talk to you nicely.
I know covid restrictions have changed that but I want to feel like I'm spending my money as a benefit.

I will update as to how my appointment was.
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Selah ·
I dont trust anyone to do my hair which is why im so good at doing my own. People will lie and say they know how to do coarse or textured hair and then mess your hair up badly. Id ask to see their portfolio.
iamnikki · 31-35, F
@Selah yep, that's why I do it myself.
@Selah My ex-girlfriend Toni struggled a lot. She had very coarse hair and it had gotten fucked up with a flat iron. I’m just a white girl, so I don’t even know what a flat iron is, but apparently it fried her hair. She would have been beautiful bald. But she was always chasing something. Made me really sad.
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@Selah I hear you. Tbh here in the uk, that's going to be very hard.
On their Instagram page they have one dark skinned black girl who went from a natural afro to having it straightened and adding extensions from what I can see the blending was really good as did the texture
But their clientele is mostly European and biracial.

I can only put that down to the fact that black woman steer clear of European stylists.
I've always wanted to try one because I watch videos of how they cut hair and its always so precise. I Especially love the stylists that do the transformations on whispy straggly hair.
In the youtube era black woman have started to showcase their amazing skills but they are always in America.
Also the one salon I trusted to do this a black hair salon basically messed me around. Now I think it's because I booked during this side of the pandemic.
They have 2 branches and I was going to go to them but they announced plans for a salon closer to my home I called to book an appointment at the opening and that was in January 2020. They were so heavily booked I couldn't get an appointment for my birthday so I went elsewhere for a basic wash n blow dry. I booked for the end of March. That's when we went into lockdown.

My appointment was cancelled when I called when restrictions were lifted again it was the same. So I waited until May this year to finally have a consultation, I was booked in to be seen 1st July, anyways they called a week before to say they have to cancel as the stylist was leaving, they called to say she'd still do it, they called again the day before to say I would have to see someone else but not for the colour.
So I can only assume, they are no longer taking clients just for colour not without doing their hair at least once. And I think that's due to a despute I was later forwarded that was circulating on social media.
It was disgusting how I was treated, they are only interested in making up the money they lost as opposed to treating client by wants, service and needs of the client... I thought that was what the consultation was for to give and get a realistic idea of a plan/advice.

But people are more interested in being able to influence their clients. Even when I wanted to get my deposit back they refused to see me in person.
@Mellowgirl I want to cry for you. I mean it. I’m so sorry. I hope you get what you want. But just know, you are beautiful either way. Light and love. 🖤
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@JustGoneNow thank you dark heaven.
We are in a really strange time.
I will say I also think they thought I couldn't afford having my hair done by them regular as they're a little more pricey.
They look like they're looking for the entrepreneurs and elite professionals within the black community.
I don't know what I'm saying, I just got the vibe I was judged.
@Mellowgirl you have nothing to be judged for. You are woman, phenomenally.

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms,
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing,
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need for my care.
’Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
— MAYA ANGELOU
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@JustGoneNow thank you
@Mellowgirl yw 🖤