You ever feel guilty about not believing someone (details below)?

When I saw her, she told me she had broken up with her boyfriend of five years. I personally had no love for the guy, but we were both packers fans so we got along really well. I told her our coach seemed happier than usual, and she said that was weird. At first I thought maybe she was just being emotional, but now in hindsight our coach was hanging around her a lot. I thought maybe it was just a father-daughter thing and that's why he was hanging around her so much, but when she started seeing someone else he got upset. I'm glad she's able to move on, but when he told me about her new guy before she had the chance to explain she fired him. Truth be told, she wanted to fire him for a while because "things got too personal". She would never tell me anything more than that because of how protective I am of her. Now my coach goes on and on about how she's a narcissist, and I've never seen it.

It's been like this for almost a year now, and I guess with this pandemic, it's given me a break from both of them and allows me to see what was really happening. Maybe if I had said something to them both, or maybe if I had looked harder. I was dating someone else at the time this was all happening so maybe that's why I didn't see anything. That, or maybe I just didn't believe her. That's the worst part...

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Sapio · 46-50, M

Clearly your coach developed feelings for her, quite possibly because her friendly nature was seen as flirtatious. I do not know the woman so I cannot say for sure.

But in a majority of your posts regarding this person the one common word and view of her that stands out above everything else, is that she is always labelled as a narcissist.

It takes two to tango in a relationship. So both of you contributed faults which could not see it through.

But in a way I think this time of being on lockdown is good for you. I think it will give you time to help find yourself and successfully move forward. As I feel there are truths that have been unveiled which make it impossible for either of you to ever go back to the way you were.

GohantheThird · M

@Sapio I can't see her as a narcissist myself because she has always been consistent in her behavior, and a narcissist by nature creates a certain level of uncertainty. Flirtatious yes, but never misleading to me. I can see how my coach developed feelings for her though since he wears his heart on his sleeve. I think she gets the label of narcissist because she is open but rejects the advances of men she is not attracted to. That's the mentality of someone who has been rejected. I don't want that.

If she is a narcissist though, then I have a messiah complex of sorts. I feel the need to fix things so that everything can go back to the way they were, and as you said that is impossible. Then again, maybe it doesn't have to.

We are not gods, but men. Should I keep attempting to hit the reset button over and over again, or should I take the hand fate dealt me and move forward? If she and I are able to make amends and build something new, then great. If not, then maybe I can learn something from all of this.

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