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Good tips to get your ex back?

No judging please on why I want her back I just do lol. I’m friends with her right now after keeping a grudge with each other over a year . I get the urge to message her a lot but I know that will make me look desperate right
I can't speak to your situation since I know nothing about it. But in general...

If you approach this with the goal of 'getting her back' you are almost certainly doomed to failure. Every contact you have with her will be colored and tainted for both of you.

Why? Because your actions are selfish. You're not concentrating on her comfort, her happiness, her best interests, but your own. You can't be open and honest because it will make you 'look desperate' - which you are. Your every move will be controlled by how it looks, how it sounds, how she'll take it. You're not having a friendship/romance. You are engaged in a campaign. A siege. She is defending against that. You aren't a lover, you're a battle commander.

The only way your efforts will be long-term successful is by concentrating on you, not her. Whatever happened between you is at least half your responsibility and as long as you continue to be that person who couldn't maintain that relationship, you are defeated before you begin. Save your breath.

Your goal should not be getting her back, but improving yourself. You may or may not ever get her back but you will, with effort and honest self-assessment, eventually become someone that SOMEONE can stay with.

There is hardly a person alive who didn't lose someone they wanted desperately. Yet many of them recover from that and find somebody else.

We say 'there's no one else but that person for me, ever. There never will be.' What we mean is, there is no one else who would be able to tolerate me like he or she did .., [i]until they left.[/i]

Examine why the relationship ended and how you contributed to that. Change those characteristics. Become someone who would not have been left. Then, if she does not come back to you, someone will come along for you.

Mostly what we want desperately from an ex is not them - we want proof that we were left and did nothing to deserve it - not really. Maybe we didn't deserve it. Maybe we just chose wrong.
LadyJ · F
Exes are usually exes for a good reason but if you want her back maybe just tell her how you feel..you never know she may feel the same way..
Paliglass · 41-45, F
If you want something or someone bad enough then you will do whatever you have to do to achieve it.

Seen that boat film where they all die at the end? Think like that psycho and go to those lengths and you'll succeed or die trying 👍

The film is Harpoon.
Northwest · M
Take a piece of paper, and write down on it a single paragraph, describing why you two broke up. Tape it to your monitor, and read it any time you feel the urge to contact her.
SW-User
First be sure you're over the grudge or it will never work out.
You only live once, tell her how you feel and see if she feels the same way.
HeteroDox · 36-40, F
tip number 1


give you head a good, hard thorough shake and dont be an idiot.
wear lots of dark blue, it's a color that inspires trust.
Killerilluminati · 26-30, M
@JustALittleBored why lol😂
@Killerilluminati honestly? You sound like you suck and are far too immature for a relationship. Be single, grow up and way way later find someone new.
TJNewton · M
You will just have to want she doesn't want you that's for sure

 
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