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We're you bullied in school? What was the worst advice you got about bullying?

My own experience was that parents, teachers and other kids gave the absolute WORST advice about how to handle a bully.

Example: "Just stay away from him (or her).". Now this is just plain silly. Where do bullies thrive? In places such as schools or prisons, in other words, places where their victims are trapped with them and can't get away. Running away doesn't work in situations like that. Hiding doesn't work either; most bullies learn all the potential hiding places on their turf and take great joy in looking thoroughly and very quickly for their victims. Running and hiding also convey fear, a bully's favorite psychological food, and they become even more determined to engage with their obviously frightened fleeing and hiding victim. Then, when the bully finds the hiding or fleeing child and physically punishes him/her, and the child goes home and faces the parent who encouraged him/her to flee, the parent glares at the bruised child and says, "I TOLD YOU to stay away from him/her!" As if encountering the bully once again were the child's fault for disobeying the parent's impossible instructions.

What other examples of useless, or even destructive, advice were you given about dealing with a bully?

Anybody get any good advice about this? Anything that worked?
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I was, and for the longest time I didn’t fight back. I attended parochial schools. The first one was in the city. It was diverse racially, although some of the nuns were biased against those of us who weren’t white. A boy who I liked very much would stop others from bullying the other kids, he protected me on many occasions. One kid was really bad about picking on the smallest kids—a real coward, because when our friend stopped him [b]he[/b] went crying to the nuns, and our friend was paddled in front of the class. It didn’t matter how many of us protested and told the adults that the [b]other[/b] boy had been the bully, and our friend had just stopped him. Our friend was stoic, didn’t cry—but several of us did. We were threatened with punishment for crying. It was the most unjust situation I’d ever seen at that point.
I was little, wore glasses and was biracial in the 60s. Not as obviously so as my middle sister, who has lighter skin and green eyes, but it made me a target of both white and black kids.
By jr high school I’d had enough and when a girl attacked me because a boy had said I was “pretty”, I fought back. And all I know was that when the lay teacher separated us, she had a black eye and loose front teeth. And the sad thing was, [b]that[/b] was what finally worked. Not going to the teacher, the nuns, my parents or anything else. Nobody else bothered me.
Frozenblaze · 100+, F
@bijouxbroussard My mental image of you thought you were white..Lol
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
@bijouxbroussard Good job! You handled it. And it worked!