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How do loving relationships turn deadly?

I like crime shows. I always wonder what happened or what went wrong for a spouse to kill or try to kill the other...

Saw one the other day. Husband shot Wife 7 times. She layed on the floor and played dead. She saw him about to shoot himself and was saying (in her mind) 'don't do it'.
Um...

😕
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If its not self defense then the murderer was always fucked in the head unless they had some kind of psychotic break down