Have you ever been to a funeral, before?

I've been to two and I can't put in words just how sad and depressing the event is.

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SW-User

I went to my wife's funeral.
It was the most horrible day in my life.
...but the worst part of it was...
everyone there arrived with partners or friends...
even her mother and father had each other..

and at the end....

they all left with those people to go off for drinks or dinner etc...
.. but i was left just standing there next to her coffin...

all alone.

I'll never forget how that felt..
.. the first time not being able to leave with her..
... and i realised that when you lose the love of your life,
.. everyone else leaves you as well.

LyricalOne · F

@SW-User I’m so very sorry my friend. 🤗

SW-User

@SW-User That is horrible...

SW-User

@SW-User Thanks.. sorry didn't mean to sound so depressing

SW-User

@LyricalOne Thanks, i know you'd understand 🤗

LyricalOne · F

@SW-User For sure. Don’t remember much from the day of my husband’s funeral. I actually gave a short eulogy but for the life of me can’t remember what I said.

SW-User

@LyricalOne That must have been so hard. I wanted to but i was too upset. Others said really nice things though.

LyricalOne · F

@SW-User I was just in a state of shock. I also sat by the coffin holding his hand making small talk with people like I was at a cocktail party. Most absurd thing in the world.

SW-User

@LyricalOne At my dad's funeral I took one look at him in the coffin and it just freaked me out, to see him in that state.

LyricalOne · F

@SW-User It’s a feeling like no other, that’s for sure.

SW-User

@LyricalOne Yes I can relate to the state of shock. Wow you held his hand? i wish i could have done that... with her i mean. But the coffin was open and not seeing her move just destroyed me. I wish i hadn't seen that now. I don't think anything can prepare us for this kind of thing.

LyricalOne · F

@SW-User I had no idea what I was gonna do. Until the morning of the service, I didn’t even know whether I was gonna make it open casket, whether I could deal with seeing him like that. Made the decision at the very last minute. There’s no “good” or “right” way to do it. You just do what’s best for you and what you have to do to survive.

SW-User

@LyricalOne You are right about that. For me the whole experience was surreal and i struggle with it every day. I think it would have been easier if i'd had some support and something to move on to, but i don't know about you but friends that we had as a couple have just avoided me since. Nothing can prepare you for all of that, but like you said, you just do what you have to, to survive.

LyricalOne · F

@SW-User It’s just too painful for most people, but especially those in couples to handle because they know that sooner or later, it’s gonna be their turn. Grief groups helped me a lot, but yes, it remains a struggle and life is never the same.

SW-User

@LyricalOne I think you are right, it probably makes people think that i'll happen to them at some point. I guess we all think it'll happen when were 80. I like the idea of a grief group and glad it helped you. I should find one.

LyricalOne · F

@SW-User Absolutely, “there but for the grace of God” kinda thing. The grief groups definitely helped. I used an organization called GriefShare. Just checked and they’re also in Australia. 🙂

SW-User

@LyricalOne Thanks!! 🤗