I would like some advice

My mom died almost a year ago and what helped me was family and kindness from friends and even strangers. It really helps!

My mother died 22 years ago, I have no clue what anyone said to me at the time.

My baby died though when she was 1 day old, 12 years ago, someone said to me, something like; [quote] that there are no words right now that can make things right but please know that I am thinking of you and I'm here if there is anything I can do for you.
[/quote]
I always remembered that she said that, I always remember her for that as it felt like the perfect thing to say at the time. You'd be surprised how many people say stupid things or hurtful things, in the midst of all that it was nice to hear something sensible and nice!

A friend acknowledged that we feel like orphans when we lose our parents no matter how old we are. And he was right, that is exactly how I felt. The realization that I'm not weird or different and others feel it too made me feel better.

There’s nothing you can say ... take some food , pay your respects, and leave . In those moments , actions speak louder than words .

It's not so much what you say as your caring about them and just being available if they need you.

My father died in 1983...and no one was there for me. I remember calling a family friend I'd known all my life and begging her for 5 minutes on the phone because I was so alone...and she said, "I'm busy. I don't have 5 minutes." This is how I learned what I had suspected; I had no one. It was tough.

Just let them know you do have time for them, and repeat it now and then, and mean it.

People deal with it differently. My friend was only 15 I think when his mom died and he really didn't like anyone saying sorry or anything along those lines

Thank you all for your feedback on this, the funeral is in the morning and I'll be keeping in mind you're advice

Sometimes it's not what you say, it's just being there for them, never easy losing a parent.

Nothing helped that I can remember.

just be there for them