Rollerskating
Yesterday I went rollerblading.
This is something my mum and I said we wanted to do together.
We went a month a go and we had a laugh.
She fell a few times but by the end we were able to stay upright and move a little.
We got to talking with this guy woo encouraged and demonstrated how to stand and break.
We both said we'd return but my mum has declined the invitations so I have given up asking.
Wednesday she asked if I wanted to go after work initially I agreed.
Unfortunately after sitting in the sun for so long I was worn out. She called me and said she'd happily go for a walk but not skating. So I took a rain check.
Yesterday we went and she decided not to put her skates on again.
We were going around and I asked her to just help me a little basically staying near enough for me in case I fell.
We bumped into an old school friend of mine.
I had planned to chat briefly and continue as I was, it's not that I can't skate I've just lost my confidence.
My mums neighbour came over and although she said hello she kept going on about the group of "skaters" I had already said that it's intimidating given how confident they are. The busy group makes me uncomfortable and I was actually slowly getting better.
Anyways what she and my old school friend did was skate round in the hope of getting me to join the group. I followed to prove I could skate around, but the moment all these people started coming speeding round me I headed off, and away from them.
My mum tried to get me to stay there and round them.
But I kept skating off.
I have written here constantly about the difficult relationship I have with my mum.
I keep falling for her games.
What pisses me off the most is not that I'm a perfectionist as my mum says. It's more that I accept my limitations but still try to push through, whereas my mum talks herself up but doesn't actually put in the work out of embarrassment then insults me, or tries to push me out of my comfort where I embarrass myself.
I'm like her experiment.
People often say to me why don't you go alone?
Why don't you go with a friend?
Where are you meeting these people?
But as always I meet people who lack confidence in themselves but instead of try and get out and do it anyway they rather point the finger at me.
This is something my mum and I said we wanted to do together.
We went a month a go and we had a laugh.
She fell a few times but by the end we were able to stay upright and move a little.
We got to talking with this guy woo encouraged and demonstrated how to stand and break.
We both said we'd return but my mum has declined the invitations so I have given up asking.
Wednesday she asked if I wanted to go after work initially I agreed.
Unfortunately after sitting in the sun for so long I was worn out. She called me and said she'd happily go for a walk but not skating. So I took a rain check.
Yesterday we went and she decided not to put her skates on again.
We were going around and I asked her to just help me a little basically staying near enough for me in case I fell.
We bumped into an old school friend of mine.
I had planned to chat briefly and continue as I was, it's not that I can't skate I've just lost my confidence.
My mums neighbour came over and although she said hello she kept going on about the group of "skaters" I had already said that it's intimidating given how confident they are. The busy group makes me uncomfortable and I was actually slowly getting better.
Anyways what she and my old school friend did was skate round in the hope of getting me to join the group. I followed to prove I could skate around, but the moment all these people started coming speeding round me I headed off, and away from them.
My mum tried to get me to stay there and round them.
But I kept skating off.
I have written here constantly about the difficult relationship I have with my mum.
I keep falling for her games.
What pisses me off the most is not that I'm a perfectionist as my mum says. It's more that I accept my limitations but still try to push through, whereas my mum talks herself up but doesn't actually put in the work out of embarrassment then insults me, or tries to push me out of my comfort where I embarrass myself.
I'm like her experiment.
People often say to me why don't you go alone?
Why don't you go with a friend?
Where are you meeting these people?
But as always I meet people who lack confidence in themselves but instead of try and get out and do it anyway they rather point the finger at me.
31-35, F
