My boyfriend's "friend" didn't invite me to the wedding and it kind of stung. Am I being weird?

So my boyfriend got invited to a wedding—I wasn’t. Yeah. That already stung. I told him it made me feel kinda invisible, like our relationship didn’t matter enough to even be acknowledged.

This is a friend my boyfriend met as a child at the church he has grown up at. We've been together for 2 years, and i've been attending my boyfriend's church for over a year.

it hurt to be excluded, especially since other people attending know he’s in a relationship. I brought it up and explained that it made me feel sidelined and like our relationship wasn’t being acknowledged.

He says he gets it, but he doesn’t want to skip the wedding entirely because he’s worried it’ll make him look petty and ruin the relationship with his friend long-term. He plans to go to the ceremony but skip the reception, hoping that it quietly shows he wasn’t cool with me being left out (and his brothers might say that too if asked).

I appreciate the effort, but honestly? It still doesn’t sit right with me. I’m trying to be understanding, but it feels like my feelings are being weighed against some hypothetical future favor. Am I being too sensitive, or would this feel weird to you too?

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Stephie · 22-25, F

Ask your boyfriend to talk with his friend and ask him what motivated him not to invite you to the wedding, since that friend is perfectly aware that you and him are together.

By asking the friend, your boyfriend can gently put the pressure on the friend to reconsider. That does not mean that he will invite you but it will let him be aware that the decision he took not to invite you has led your boyfriend to talk with him.

Nonetheless, I have my doubts that your boyfriend will actually talk to his friend and in that case, you have to realize that your boyfriend has made up his mind as to who has the first priority in his life and that will hurt you more than not to have been invited.

RubySoo · 56-60, F

@Stephie personally, i don't think thats a good idea...or fair on the guys! Asking the future groom why....and putting pressure on him to invite the lady could well cause a rift in their friendship....and ruffle the bride too!
Nope....i think this would be a selfish thing to do!

Stephie · 22-25, F

@RubySoo In my opinion, there is already a crack in that relationship. The boyfriend seems to favor the friendship with the groom over his relationship with his girlfriend. At least that is how I see it.

RubySoo · 56-60, F

@Stephie which relationship are you refering to? The poster and her boyfriend or the boyfriend and hus goid friend the groom?

Stephie · 22-25, F

@RubySoo The poster and her boyfriend.

RubySoo · 56-60, F

@Stephie quite possibly. You suggested her bf should question the groom, why shes not invited, but that could damage the men's lifelong friendship, and possibly cause upset to the bride too!!
Not a good idea!

Stephie · 22-25, F

@RubySoo And that is exactly why I said that if he does not ask the groom, to me that shows that he prioritizes his friendship with the groom over his girlfriend.

Whatever the decision, it will displease the one or the other. Which one is more important to the boyfriend? His girlfriend or the groom?

RubySoo · 56-60, F

@Stephie the bride and groom on their wedding day.