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I Had a Bad Valentine's Day

The only reason this Valentines day was bad was because I was actually conscious of it being Valentines day every minute since waking up. Since my Junior year in high school, I've managed to accept that I'd have no need to see relevance in the "holiday" as well as seeing no sensible point in feeling disappointment or resentment for whatever salty-single reason. I went from dreamy/hopeful, to bitter hater, and then nothing. Valentine's day felt like any other day for the last seven years because I didn't have any reason for it to feel otherwise. Only now do I realize how blissful that nothing period was.

Now that some crazy bastard (the first one, might i add) actually took a mutual interest in me, I suddenly gained this stupid, nonsensical habit of imagining false, wonderful scenarios that are unlikely to happen. Not this early anyway. So you can imagine how many different ways I imagined receiving a rose or chocolates...or even some cute prank he would pull just to make me smile in a way he's used to doing it (because he's not much of the romantic type.) But no. Of course he didn't. He wouldn't. It's still early and he's not the romantic type. I knew better, yet I was still dumb enough to fantasize. This is what romantic interest does to you! I don't like it...
SW User
You know it's not the 18th century anymore. You could have planned something, you could have suggested something.

Sometimes guys need a little reminding or sometimes a big push.
SW User
[@4759,LadyAlera] Just that I'm not creative. I can't really draw or think imaginatively. Yet when things aren't happening as quickly as I'd like, I get paranoid. 'Perhaps it'll never happen' or 'maybe I pushed too much' or even 'did i do something out of place'. Then you start to consider ways you could have went about it differently.

Patience. It's like a toxin for your mind.
LadyAlera · 26-30, F
[@459548,LittleMystery] I get those same thoughts as well. But seeing as this particular thing is kind of important to me, I'm working really hard to try not to give into doubts, paranoia and insecurities. I've been waiting too long for this guy. There's no way I'm gonna be the reason it doesn't go as far as it can.
SW User
[@4759,LadyAlera] That's the perfect mindset.
Why don’t you send your mom flowers and some chocolate for a friend.
LadyAlera · 26-30, F
[@14748,Puffieke] I guess that's a good point. Though...seeing as our family isn't very...expressive to each other it's not really our cup of tea. The way we show affection is by teasing, joking, and doing favors for someone and then making it seem like we didn't do it for them. ^_^
I get it. [@4759,LadyAlera]
english · 56-60, M
sorry to hear that Happy V/day 🌹🍾🌹
LadyAlera · 26-30, F
[@644861,english] Thank you! Happy vday to u as well :)

 
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