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Seeing all the new year’s wishes - and a Happy New Year to you all - I realize I’ve lost even that cautious optimism I used to feel on January 1. Not that I’ve swung the other way or anything…. Just that there is absolutely nothing here. No sense of turning page. No more hope or trepidation than usual. No misty images of what might be or what I might strive for or look forward to. Nothing. I think the shock of last year just chopped off my tomorrows like a guillotine. I can’t feel further than the beef stew in the crockpot. It’s not terrible. Kind of steals a holiday I suppose, but I’ve been off work for a week so it sorta blends in anyway. This moment here is fine. Good. Lovely. Everyone’s okay. My world is intact. I’ll just live here til the next one comes along.
