I Dont Like Celebrating My Birthday

I never liked my birthday. All the pressure to be on my best behaviour, a good host and so appreciative of insincere gifts has driven any inch of fun I could have had for me. It never fails to be slightly worse that a normal day but because it's my birthday I have to paste a smile on my face and pretend for a day that everything is great... from organising my own events from a young age to even making my own cupcakes, I've had to write exams on my "special" day. I've had friends cancel on my birthday for the party I threw just to have them around, I've had gifts given to me by my parents only for them to take them away to use themselves or been scolded for not being pleased with gifts that I never wanted in the slightest way and I'm always the one cleaning up and being what everyone else wants of me on this so called "auspicious" day of my birth.
Every year I don't want a birthday and every year I get one... I don't want to have one so I can't get disappointed when it goes pear shaped like it always does. No more party to have by myself or with people I didn't want there or don't actually know, no more making my own cakes, no more presents that I hate or that are so awful I have to try my best to not feel offended.
Hopefully next year I can have a sorta decent one because unfortunately a 21st can't go unnoticed...