I'm sorry, i shouldnt have gotten my hopes up

My birthday party was for tomorrow. We found a babysitter, i got a hot new outfit. I had a nail appointment before work. I let myself get excited. We have not truly celebrated my birthday in 7 years. No one has ever made a big deal about my birthday. I dont know why I even let myself get excited because apparently I just dont deserve to be celebrated. I'll never again let myself get excited about my birthday ever again.