I Dont Really Enjoy Birthdays
My worst birthday in my adult life: It was my 34th. I had a boyfriend of a few months, Jim. I did not really think the relationship was very good and was thinking of calling it quits. But then Jim called me up and invited me out to celebrate my birthday at a really terrific restaurant. He sounded very enthusiastic. I decided to accept. Maybe I had misjudged his apparent lack of affection which he had blamed on overwork and job stress.
When he picked me up I discovered another couple in his car as I got in; he introduced me to them saying they were very close long time friends of his that wanted to come along for the evening. They looked nervous.
At the restaurant, Jim ordered a drink for everyone acting overly happy in a sarcastic way, making borderline hostile comments while assuring me he was really happy to be celebrating with me. His friends seemed embarrassed.
He insisted on ordering for me. I had once said I wanted to try a certain dish he hated and found disgusting. He loudly insisted I had to order that. I caved in and ordered it.
As I ate it, he became gradually more and more hostile, making sarcastic remarks. His friends fell silent. At one point, his friends winced and as I turned to glance at Jim, I realized he had been making faces at them behind my back, ridiculing me. They realized I had finally seen him making fun of me and they whispered at him to stop.
I couldn't eat any more. I excused myself, went into the restroom and cried. I couldn't even pretend to socialize after that. His friends seemed embarrassed and sad for me.
The evening ended early. I was polite but subdued. I went home depressed.
Two days later I got a call from Jim. He asked me if I would stop at his apartment which was only a couple of blocks away. I decided to go see him and tell him he had ruined my birthday with his hostility. I decided to tell him it was over. When I got there he told me I was the dumbest girl he'd ever known and he wanted me gone from his life. I told him that was OK with me. But I asked him why he had taken me out on my birthday if I was so stupid and he wanted nothing to do with me.
He said he just didn't feel right dumping me on my birthday.
When he picked me up I discovered another couple in his car as I got in; he introduced me to them saying they were very close long time friends of his that wanted to come along for the evening. They looked nervous.
At the restaurant, Jim ordered a drink for everyone acting overly happy in a sarcastic way, making borderline hostile comments while assuring me he was really happy to be celebrating with me. His friends seemed embarrassed.
He insisted on ordering for me. I had once said I wanted to try a certain dish he hated and found disgusting. He loudly insisted I had to order that. I caved in and ordered it.
As I ate it, he became gradually more and more hostile, making sarcastic remarks. His friends fell silent. At one point, his friends winced and as I turned to glance at Jim, I realized he had been making faces at them behind my back, ridiculing me. They realized I had finally seen him making fun of me and they whispered at him to stop.
I couldn't eat any more. I excused myself, went into the restroom and cried. I couldn't even pretend to socialize after that. His friends seemed embarrassed and sad for me.
The evening ended early. I was polite but subdued. I went home depressed.
Two days later I got a call from Jim. He asked me if I would stop at his apartment which was only a couple of blocks away. I decided to go see him and tell him he had ruined my birthday with his hostility. I decided to tell him it was over. When I got there he told me I was the dumbest girl he'd ever known and he wanted me gone from his life. I told him that was OK with me. But I asked him why he had taken me out on my birthday if I was so stupid and he wanted nothing to do with me.
He said he just didn't feel right dumping me on my birthday.
70-79, F
