Only partially human
Nothing is fundamentally different for me, just a clearer realization of the futility of any meaningful progress.
There is one person i can have sane communication with, my brother, that has always been since mom passed.
There is nobody on SW where a discussion can occur, which has always been so since the one who was the most conversant with me crossed the line for a very short tempered laddie such as i, in a domestic environment where things unabated are engrossed in things going wrong, where things willy nilly go missing, where inaccuracy is the norm, and nothing actual is conveyed to those who could actually do something about it, but to me, who grows increasingly frustrated.
For me, i am diving into philosophy more and more, seeing it from it's western beginnings and from other key historical points, the Enlightenment being of special interest now. It is not learning, for learning is when you can converse about these things with others intelligently and sustained over time, for me that is simply impossible, i'd sooner become an astronaut than have anyone to talk to about what is inherently interesting, it seems to me that everyone has their own opinion fully formed, and to discuss anything with them, would require me to agree wholeheartedly with their opinions under the name of fact.
The persuance of reading and listening to books and lectures and videos about my kinds of things still has a purpose, that of sparking ever continuing thought, and abilities to see gross incompetence in full sway all around me in physical actual space, and the desire for a kind of knowledge, which shall i am sure merely keep a clinical vegetative state at bay.
No progress only keeping myself from getting more stupid, when did all the learning begin and end, or was there ever learning? I profoundly disagree with what i've said and am saying here, seeing it as hopelessly defunct and that there is only a partial recourse that can be taken, seeing accuracy and the close to accurate being the domain of those i cannot converse with, and that it has always usually been this way.
There is one person i can have sane communication with, my brother, that has always been since mom passed.
There is nobody on SW where a discussion can occur, which has always been so since the one who was the most conversant with me crossed the line for a very short tempered laddie such as i, in a domestic environment where things unabated are engrossed in things going wrong, where things willy nilly go missing, where inaccuracy is the norm, and nothing actual is conveyed to those who could actually do something about it, but to me, who grows increasingly frustrated.
For me, i am diving into philosophy more and more, seeing it from it's western beginnings and from other key historical points, the Enlightenment being of special interest now. It is not learning, for learning is when you can converse about these things with others intelligently and sustained over time, for me that is simply impossible, i'd sooner become an astronaut than have anyone to talk to about what is inherently interesting, it seems to me that everyone has their own opinion fully formed, and to discuss anything with them, would require me to agree wholeheartedly with their opinions under the name of fact.
The persuance of reading and listening to books and lectures and videos about my kinds of things still has a purpose, that of sparking ever continuing thought, and abilities to see gross incompetence in full sway all around me in physical actual space, and the desire for a kind of knowledge, which shall i am sure merely keep a clinical vegetative state at bay.
No progress only keeping myself from getting more stupid, when did all the learning begin and end, or was there ever learning? I profoundly disagree with what i've said and am saying here, seeing it as hopelessly defunct and that there is only a partial recourse that can be taken, seeing accuracy and the close to accurate being the domain of those i cannot converse with, and that it has always usually been this way.
46-50, M
