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How hard is it to get into grad school and do a PhD

I guess you gotta be smart but do you have to be super smart and successful or just cleverish is ok? and is it expensive?
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I have no idea how the expense side will play out in the US.

Traditionally, a lot of grad school cost was helped with financial aid, often including being a TA for undergrad courses, etc. In STEM areas, there was often money to get this paid for.

The real "bar" for the individual is to make an original contribution to knowledge, which is actually a bit of a hurdle, but controlled by the local faculty.

That depends upon the research "question" on which you set out to work. A good advisor helps his/her students to select good questions (often arising through that professor's own work).

So, in this VERY special apprenticeship, the PhD advisor is actually quite crucial;

SO DO GET VERY FAMILIAR
WITH RESEARCH IN YOUR AREA,
AND RESEARCH THE RESEARCHERS
TO TRY TO SELECT A GREAT ADVISOR
AT A GOOD SCHOOL FOR YOUR AREA.