Will someone please tell me the secrets to raising a boy!?

I had four girls, my house stayed clean it was always peaceful and never once did I feel overwhelmed. Welp lucky me child five was a boy and omg I am pulling my hair out. He's almost two and acts like hes ten and thinks he can do anything he wants. He destroys my house and I feel like he like to get under my skin for example He Rips all the pots out from the cabinets then yells annoying and runs away. Now it's hard not to laugh but I'm really getting exhausted and don't know how to stop his destruction. Please give any useful advice

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SWisGoingWoke · M

First, every kid is different, regardless of sex. I'm sure you know that with 5 in your brood!

Boys get a LOT of their cues on how to act and what to respect from...drumroll....their father. So, while it's not a 100% certain rule, it's generally true that boys will emulate their dad's values and behavior.

Meaning, how does your husband treat you, your house, your daughters? Should be a lot of insight by looking at that vector in your family and then applying it to your son's values and actions.

And if you do not have a father in the home, what male is your son seeing as a role model...a friend, boyfriend, your father, your brother?

DidIHurtYourFeelings · F

Husband is learning to be a father this is his first child, my four girls are from my previous marriage and they are all pretty grown when I remarried. I am the strict parent though

SWisGoingWoke · M

@DidIHurtYourFeelings: Yeah, I've seen that with my daughter and her hubby. Mom says "No no!" and dad says "Whatever..."

Kid says "Screw mom, I'm doing whatever!"

My point is simple: Fix Dad's attitude and you're going to have a lot fewer problems. You two MUST present a unified, solid front of authority. Kids will work you like a ping pong ball if you don't, and the smarter the kid the faster and harder they bend you.

DidIHurtYourFeelings · F

@O-sure: oh he's learning real quick. He definitely loves his daddy and is very close to him. But only recently has he started to learn what him and the girls allow him to do stresses me out. In almost two years my husband has not once watched our son until a few days ago when I said okay I need a break and just left. When I came home he was so stressed lol I think that might have done the trick

SWisGoingWoke · M

@DidIHurtYourFeelings: You are on the right track! Keep it up.

My son and his wife have a son who is respectful, kind, tender, and polite. My son and his wife are like two side of the same coin when it comes to their two kids.

My daughter and her hubby have a son that is a hellion. He destroys, defies authority, disrespects all adults, and has a poor self image. My daughter and her hubby are polar opposites with the hubby being distant, disconnected, disrespectful to my daughter and authority figures like the police, and could not care less what my grandson does.

The problem, at least for me, is pretty clear.

DidIHurtYourFeelings · F

@O-sure: I can definitely see that. I am the good loving, devoted mom, wife who runs everything and takes care of everyone. My husband is the not so social quiet kind of go with the flow guy. He makes no rules or tells anyone what to do because he says he will be the bad parent. My daughters were raised with me alone so they only had one parent to watch and are beyond the best kids ever. So I'm working on the husband and his ways I think that putting him in my shoes is a start

SWisGoingWoke · M

@DidIHurtYourFeelings: I agree. But you should sit down and have a chat with him sometime and spell things out. It's hard to be consistent but nothing will work better.

DidIHurtYourFeelings · F

@O-sure: I will definitely take your advice thank you so much