Pondering in the darkness.

I woke up really early and it's still dark. I'm already filled with an empty dread of the day ahead. There are no prospects that excite me. Do I need Jesus? Coffee? To give my boyfriend some speed . I don't know. I want to run away but I have a torn meniscus and can't. Do I get out my black candles ( oh shit they're always out) and summon Lilith? I need some woman power.
I need humans who are not wet gray cardboard.
Am I wet gray cardboard?? No. I am more like an atom bomb. I'll take it. Still spicy and better than wet cardboard . I'm also ridiculous.
Good morning y'all . :)