Why is it always the second guy who treats me right not the one I love

I broke up with my fiancé, who was my boyfriend for 4 years, the love of my life, and my first love.I was devastated because I had to do that to avoid a lifetime of misery.I instantly went so hard on grieving the relationship, I cried on my kitchen floor for weeks, I spent hours praying the pain away, I couldn’t eat a single cracker for almost a month and after I started to get my shit together there’s a guy who has been crushing on me for years started to talk to me and I was like it’s not gonna be worse if I gave him a chance and I was completely honest with him about me not being emotionally available atm and I’ll be going with the flow so no strings attached and I gotta say thisss guy is the most loving, caring and supportive human being I’ve ever met and I feel guilty because I always have these thoughts about what if my ex treated me differently so with all of these what ifs (that I’ve been open and honest with this other guy about) makes me feel so bad about myself, why is it always the other guy? Why's it never the one I want? Am I broken? Is there something wrong with me? Does the universe hate me that much?