people have hated me all my life

It gets so depressing,, it seems people have hated me all my life, odds always working against me, in school, it seems I was always held back from excelling, but later I realized some people are disliked because of an outward appearance, and realized, I apparently have fit in that category, anything I do is rejected, even society is rejecting me, and now that I am approaching 60 years old, my job ended 17 months ago, and no one wants to hire me, claiming others are more qualified, (code for "you're too old") I had a speculation 40 years ago, my mother stated that her side of the family had a short life span, her father passed at 44, her mother at 62, I concluded my mother would pass at 62 (she did) and with my health felt I would be gone at 55 (didn't happen( I wish it did happen, I would have done everyone a favor by dying