I Think You Shouldn't Pass Judgement Just Because It's Easy

I don't understand this obsession people have nowadays with radical non-judgement. There are a lot of positive aspects to it, yes, but at the same time - it's too simple. Too easy. There's a line between what's acceptable and what deserves to be harshly judged. Some people set that line too strictly, like the stereotypical southern "working man" who thinks that anyone who doesn't work with their hands and know how to fix a car isn't really a man. But I think that nowadays, people are way too loose with that line - just because someone isn't murdering puppies doesn't mean that their actions aren't stupid or destructive or low in some other meaningful way.

Someone who gets high every night has a substance abuse problem (which is something that inevitably hurts more people than just them), and if that's coupled with them consistently failing to take basic responsibility for their life, which I've encountered in stoners before (though I think that a lot of the time, the weed and the irresponsibility are both symptoms of a larger problem, rather than the weed causing the irresponsibility). A parent who says to their kid "eat your McDonalds or you don't get dessert" is failing as a parent, and if way too many parents start doing that, then that represents a larger problem in society.

[i]"---But it begs the questions of who should set the line and why should the line be set there? People have had opinions since the dawn of civilization, and yet each generation has a different set of opinions than the last. We used to look down on interracial relationships, on atheism, on homosexuality, on women that wore pants, on people that objected to war, etc. The next generation is going to inevitably have different values than our own... it's not my place to set the line. I shouldn't use my opinions to look down on individuals, but as a starting point to understanding them.---"[/i]

Figuring out where the line is is incredibly complicated. That's why most people either just set the line wherever their parents taught them to set it, without ever thinking about it for themselves, or they create a simple solution (which I think is one of the things that our species most deeply craves, no matter how skewed or destructive those simple solutions might be) - one that reduces the problem to something that they don't have to think about, like "never judge anyone."

And that's the thing - you say that it's not your place to set the line, but you *are* setting the line - you're setting it at a place of radical non-judgement, where you never judge anyone harshly for anything. All of us set the line for ourselves - it's not a choice, it's just something that we all inherently do. Something that it's impossible not to do. If you judge something harshly that doesn't deserve to be judged harshly, then that's a mistake, yes. But it's just as big of a mistake to refuse to judge something harshly that *does* deserve to be judged harshly. All that that accomplishes is to let darkness walk the world, unopposed and often unseen - which I can tell you has caused more problems and more suffering than any amount of harsh judgement. I know better than most the extent to which *any* bad action can be twisted and justified to the point of not judging it harshly, if you forsake truth and sometimes basic morality in order to do it.

And as for deciding what deserves to be judged harshly - you have to use your best judgement. And that means that you'll be wrong sometimes, and you'll be largely alone in that wrongness - which is what happens when you think for yourself. Or you can follow the trend of radical non-judgement and be wrong quite often (since you're applying a simple solution to a complex problem) right along with everyone else - but you'll be patted on the back and told that you're right by the masses around you, so you must be right after all, right?

SW-User

The thing about "radical non-judgementalists (you like that word?) Is that they so often only SAY that one should not judge, when the judgement is being made about them. They do, in fact, make judgements all the time themselves. It's impossible not to. I have found many of them to be some of the MOST judgemental people I've met.

It is crucial that we make judgements, but it is equally important that we judge rightly. When we don't, it's important to admit it. But, you're right....who sets the standard? Who decides which judgements are right or where the lines should be?

I think that's the biggest reason why there's a push toward NO judgement...because we don't want to be held accountable for our actions or confined by rules of morality or legality. If we are all our own "god" we set our own rules and no-one has any right to judge them. If there actually IS someone to whom we're all responsible....that changes things. That's uncomfortable. That means there IS a place for judgement and we're inevitably going to be on the receiving end...

BlueDiver · 36-40, M

I do like it, yeah. Heh, yup, I've definitely encountered my share of that kind of hypocrite. I think that hypocrisy always becomes much, much more common whenever people feel pressured to conform to an outside set of values, whether those values are being imposed by radical non-judgementalists, or by the Christian church. The hypocrisy is the only way that a lot of people can figure out in order to reconcile the inevitable differences between the outside values being imposed on them, and their own internal values (not to mention their own imperfections and weaknesses, which preclude the ability to perfectly adhere to any of their own values).

"because we don't want to be held accountable for our actions or confined by rules of morality or legality." Bingo - and the sense of entitlement and lack of a sense of responsibility that so many millennials have just compounds the problem.