My life is boring now

My boyfriend was the happy go lucky type always laughing. But now I am alone since his passing. I don't work for health reasons and therefore only see my Mum or a few people at a MIND group I go to. But the group isn't exciting and sometimes I wonder why I go. But it does get me out of the house. Having social anxiety I find it hard making new friends. I do have one friend who travels long distance to see me but thats just twice a year he was my boyfriends best mate actually. The rest of the time I'm at home with my cat. I read and do crafts but life has lost its meaning, really I just miss my boyfriend. I want to move on but to be honest I don't know. I have no desire to date as I don't ever want to take the chance of going through something so traumatic again. If I'm honest I don't really want to be here without him. I'm not suicidal I'm just broken and every day is a struggle to get through.