Having bad social intuition fucking sucks.

I always have to doubt myself all the time, and I feel guilty all the time for how I make people feel. I always try to learn all the social rules and norms that I can, but a lot of times it really does just come down to intuition. And it's things that are so simple for everybody else but are just fucking impossible for me to see no matter how much I practice. I get tired of mimicking the emotional responses that other people show visibly and I feel like I am not very good at it. No matter what I do, people just feel like I'm subtly 'off' for nebulous reasons and it repels them. It feels like a very sophisticated psychological torture that I can't get out of.

Part of me just wants to be a hermit and stay away from it, but then I just feel like a loser. And other people see me that way too. And that's the problem that I can never solve no matter how smart I try to be.