Incel life, desperation & loneliness
I have been used as a «tool» so many times & I have given up turing to be a man in this society. I have a lazy eye & I’m quite fat, I have even developed large breasts (they are bigger than my sister’s boobs, she told me & it’s true)
I feel shame deep inside, but I supress it (honestly). When I started giving oral to my buddy as teenagers, I always imagined I was my sister while I serviced him (Adrian was huge, especially for a teen guy). It started as «a dare» / a «joke»: would I try to suck it? I was curious about it. We had masturbated together in the basement of our house, many times. I knew what he liked. I felt confused, when I saw him jerking his huge meat, it was so incredibly beautiful to look at. It was about double my own length & it was fat + it had HUGE pretruding blue veins all over it & I could easily tell he had quite TIGHT FORESKIN (which later on I turned out to actually ADORE)
I didn’t tell him but I had the best time, myself… I was doing «the girls job» & I realized as I couldnt realistically Get to cuddle with any of the (hot & fit) females from school (mistet the only place I got to see girls honestly)… it was the next best thing for me, I enjoyed it.
I feel shame deep inside, but I supress it (honestly). When I started giving oral to my buddy as teenagers, I always imagined I was my sister while I serviced him (Adrian was huge, especially for a teen guy). It started as «a dare» / a «joke»: would I try to suck it? I was curious about it. We had masturbated together in the basement of our house, many times. I knew what he liked. I felt confused, when I saw him jerking his huge meat, it was so incredibly beautiful to look at. It was about double my own length & it was fat + it had HUGE pretruding blue veins all over it & I could easily tell he had quite TIGHT FORESKIN (which later on I turned out to actually ADORE)
I didn’t tell him but I had the best time, myself… I was doing «the girls job» & I realized as I couldnt realistically Get to cuddle with any of the (hot & fit) females from school (mistet the only place I got to see girls honestly)… it was the next best thing for me, I enjoyed it.
26-30, TNew
