I want to share my dark teen and virginity story - I don't know why, but time seems proper.
Saw that other post about virginity and since I haven't done so in public I want to share it now.
I was about 16 and a half. I was a dark weird girl, I was always wearing black, I had that long wide black skirt and a hat... I was seriously depressed yet very artistic, deep and poetic. I was spending my days after school in nature, near trees, forests or the beach and the nights I remember walking around more often than not.
At home the situation was very chaotic and I was only returning for brief amount of times, many days I wouldn't eat, or eat very little.
I met him outside, near a basketball terrain where we would sit with other girls and guys, tortured teens with difficult backgrounds, we would smoke, drink alcohol.. He was two years older than me. I got instantly in love with his aura.
He wasn't the best, he was selling drugs and doing jobs involved with escorting whores, transferring stolen items etc. He was even fucking some men for money.
But he was also very artistic and poetic and in his eyes I appeared as an angel. Or a witch, or both.
I was very problematic as a child. To avoid the beatings I would jump from the balcony to the interior staircase and run outside. I was spending many nights sneaking into closed cafes, school classes that I'd find a window open, I was going at the last floor of many buildings were there was storage, church yards, abandoned houses. Some times at my grandma's
I avoided going to friends or other relatives, it would require from me to explain. My parents had lost control over me around 14 or so.
He introduced me to barbituric pills, which left me with memory gaps and I really don't know what. Lots of weed.
I was half dead in high school. Hanging out with the worst people, when I wasn't alone. I was spending a lot of time alone.
So we went to that abandoned house, I guided him there. We were already drugged, few pills, weed, alcohol all at once. I remember I was telling him how I am ready - perhaps I was who knows - and he was hesitant, but I was reassuring him. He wasn't a complete asshole after all. He was too doing his best.
It was an old traditional house, with blankets on the walls as some were placing. He took a blanket down and placed it on the couch - there was a couch there, old, hard, but you know, all these, still have some atmosphere going on, both in movies and in reality.
I remember nothing of that night, some very vague feeling, no pain or pleasure or any other memory, I just remember the cold of the room and our warm bodies. I remember of how I woke up in the middle of the night scared, terrified, and I was having hallucinations of figures being present in the room.
There was a fireplace that we lit a small fire.
I was trying to wake him up to tell him about the figures but he was sleeping very heavy - I was alone.
I was about 16 and a half. I was a dark weird girl, I was always wearing black, I had that long wide black skirt and a hat... I was seriously depressed yet very artistic, deep and poetic. I was spending my days after school in nature, near trees, forests or the beach and the nights I remember walking around more often than not.
At home the situation was very chaotic and I was only returning for brief amount of times, many days I wouldn't eat, or eat very little.
I met him outside, near a basketball terrain where we would sit with other girls and guys, tortured teens with difficult backgrounds, we would smoke, drink alcohol.. He was two years older than me. I got instantly in love with his aura.
He wasn't the best, he was selling drugs and doing jobs involved with escorting whores, transferring stolen items etc. He was even fucking some men for money.
But he was also very artistic and poetic and in his eyes I appeared as an angel. Or a witch, or both.
I was very problematic as a child. To avoid the beatings I would jump from the balcony to the interior staircase and run outside. I was spending many nights sneaking into closed cafes, school classes that I'd find a window open, I was going at the last floor of many buildings were there was storage, church yards, abandoned houses. Some times at my grandma's
I avoided going to friends or other relatives, it would require from me to explain. My parents had lost control over me around 14 or so.
He introduced me to barbituric pills, which left me with memory gaps and I really don't know what. Lots of weed.
I was half dead in high school. Hanging out with the worst people, when I wasn't alone. I was spending a lot of time alone.
So we went to that abandoned house, I guided him there. We were already drugged, few pills, weed, alcohol all at once. I remember I was telling him how I am ready - perhaps I was who knows - and he was hesitant, but I was reassuring him. He wasn't a complete asshole after all. He was too doing his best.
It was an old traditional house, with blankets on the walls as some were placing. He took a blanket down and placed it on the couch - there was a couch there, old, hard, but you know, all these, still have some atmosphere going on, both in movies and in reality.
I remember nothing of that night, some very vague feeling, no pain or pleasure or any other memory, I just remember the cold of the room and our warm bodies. I remember of how I woke up in the middle of the night scared, terrified, and I was having hallucinations of figures being present in the room.
There was a fireplace that we lit a small fire.
I was trying to wake him up to tell him about the figures but he was sleeping very heavy - I was alone.
