im going back to closing myself off to the world.

ive been this way since i was a teen. its always felt safer not getting close to others. people have always had away of harming. i never really had a life because of it. never dated. never really done much. never had a s.o. never had many friends. its not healthy but it feels so normal to just shut everyone out. not getting hurt not caring about people that ultimately was just using you or really didnt care. i went onto social media 3 years ago. to help with my mindset as i was suffering from a dark depression. and felt like maybe i would find some friends i could relate to online.. that ended up being a mistake. im going to be heading back to my closed off state. cutting everyone out. to be alone. focusing on myself. probably the reason im pretty much a mute and have a hard time communicating. but you dont have to deal with others.