I think that amazing first date was a fluke 😞

New Guy just isn't putting much effort into staying in touch, and frankly he has a lot on his plate it seems. Growing a business takes a lot of time and dedication, and also he's only been divorced for a year. I doubt he's even finished healing.

I'm gonna cancel the date on the 22nd and just let him know that although our first date was incredible, it doesn't look like it's going to work out in the long run. I'm looking for consistency, and someone who seems just as excited to talk to me as I am to talk to them. He's not really giving that. He's probably a great person, the timing just feels wrong.

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CassandraSissy · 26-30, T

Sweetie, men are consistently inconsistent!

I bet you take him away from his problems and issues...a welcome distraction. Sometimes you have to take a big deep breath and dive into those problems and issues, especially if he's running his own business!

My fella was really lovely to start with, then around the 6 month mark he became distracted by life and messaged a little less. As you could perhaps imagine, sweetie, I thought he was going off me. But, we talked things through.

He had work things, his bodybuilding thing and his family dynamics - his parent's nearly died when he told them he was dating a T Girl - which I wasn't all aware of.

We talked, I supported where I could, I helped where I could and I think, looking back, it was the making of us, sweetie.

Go on the date. See how it goes. Bet you both enjoy it. It's a long time between dates, by the way. Try to see each other more regularly will help enormously.

😘

Mmiker · 46-50, M

Perhaps WAIT. Before canceling the date, maybe mention that you look forward for the excitement and for the pleasure of the first date to continue between dates. He may come through prior to the 22nd.

ronisme1 · 70-79, M

Nooooo, go out with him. Take it one day at a time.

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ronisme1 · 70-79, M

@LeGrotesque you are thinking for him. Whats the worse that could happen? You get a free meal and he ignores you. What is the
best? You have a good time again. He , like you needs some peace and quite in his life and you give it to him. He is probably going through the same as you

LeGrotesque · 46-50, F

@ronisme1 I guess. But why would someone go from texting me every day, first thing and last thing, talking about how excited they are to see where this could go, etc ... To barely talking to me?

ronisme1 · 70-79, M

@LeGrotesque he has his troubles. Even you mentioned it. Hes buried in them. Try the date. You may enjoy yourself. If you dont, you will know for sure.
When i met my current wife it was a blind date. The date was terrible but we had things in common. We almost didnt go out agsin. I had problems and so did she. The 2nd date was unbelievably good. We have been married for 31 years so you never know.

Horace · M

I haven't been around much. Are you still living with 'old guy' for financial reasons?
Just asking.

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Horace · M

@LeGrotesque Nothing 🙂. I just don't blindly agree with or coddle people. Coddling doesn't solve anything and there are two sides to every story. I guess that makes me a negative or "rude" person. 😋🤷

LeGrotesque · 46-50, F

@Horace he has a right to see me as a red flag. But he should just tell me that, instead of dragging this out slowly.

Horace · M

@LeGrotesque Of course.

Barefooter25 · 46-50, M

I think you mentioned in a previous post that this guy still has some feelings for his ex-wife

LeGrotesque · 46-50, F

@Barefooter25 I think he does

KimberlyB · 36-40, F

Sadly, You're probably right. Text or phone call doesnt take long. If hes not making time for you now in the beginning he never will.

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HumanEarth · F

What about asking friends and family helping you from time to time till you patch yourself together emotional?

I'm just outsider looking in, because in way I care

LeGrotesque · 46-50, F

@HumanEarth I have no family or friends

HumanEarth · F

awww....That sucks. At a time when you need someone to lean on to.

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