I reflect on past relationships with everyone talking about how if you hate all of your exes your the problem, and saying shit like that
enough that while I don't really miss my own I'm left sharing what I figured out about what went wrong.
So my first love and me met playing a small scale game together known as a multi user dungeon, a small community of maybe 30 players who all came together in the ancient days of the internet, smol world, we all had gone to the same places.
well we were both stupid fucking teenagers at the time, High school sweethearts.
Way I see it we both fucked up, both of us made mistakes. I'm willing to accept that there was more I could have done to save that relationship but in fairness I didn't fully appreciate how much stress she was under especially as I was going through my own crucible from hell at the time
See, She was the reason I wasn't going to class because I couldn't you know, get to sleep on time to make it in at 7:40 in the morning and sync my schedule up to Cypress Creek Senior High schools.
Thing is I was dating an older woman which is NORMAL for me and has been SINCE that point, I was in late 8th grade when we met I believe on the cusp just before Freshman year and she was getting out of Sophmore year into Junior.
I had no idea what I was in for.
my Ex was College bound, in way, I've always wanted a college girl so...
anyway, the second half of that year after we'd been together for quite awhile turned incredibly stressful for both of us, by The Second half I was skating on thin ice, Truancy officers had noticed I'd missed too much class and were threatening my parents custody over the issue so they started drugging me. MY ex never asked me to quit playing and We both were regulars in it, but It eventually meant Between having the second half of my night cropped off, and me playing for a few hours we didn't get as much time together and after that she eventually got sick of my lack of attentiveness by the time I was in the second half of Soph more year.
I had No idea the shit she was going through, as my bae was not a whiner, but there was so much she didn't tell me.
like I figured it out, that shit must have been it's own kind of stress hell for her, as she was applying to university after univeristy and driving out to see the universities and everything.
meanwhile my parents are drugging me, we're not connecting as much as we used to and she never asked me to quit playing but if she had I would have been inquisitive about what was really going on and figured it out and decided to oblige it.
And I guess, what I'm saying, in a big way is if one of my Hobbies has come between us, then, It's OK to ask me to drop it, especially, if, as happened to us, Something in your life changes, and as a consequence, your Stress levels rise and you need Extra Attentiveness.
I was reasonable attentive of my exes needs right up until I started getting drugged, at which point the only way to make time for her would have been to quit playing the game, but I didn't.
if she had asked though I think ultimately I would have maybe been somewhat resistant but, eventually I would have thought it through and decided to oblige her.
Because really at the end of day my goal in life is not to have the most bad ass characters in online video games, I like having that, but, I like having a girlfriend a lot more than I like having that.
Basically I wasn't there for her in one of the most stressful parts of her life and she was upset about it, I didn't realize I should have quit because I Was a dumbass teenager, and all of this to say, again, if my hobbies get between us and spending time together, ITS OK TO ASK ME TO MAKE TIME FOR YOU BY QUITTING.
So my first love and me met playing a small scale game together known as a multi user dungeon, a small community of maybe 30 players who all came together in the ancient days of the internet, smol world, we all had gone to the same places.
well we were both stupid fucking teenagers at the time, High school sweethearts.
Way I see it we both fucked up, both of us made mistakes. I'm willing to accept that there was more I could have done to save that relationship but in fairness I didn't fully appreciate how much stress she was under especially as I was going through my own crucible from hell at the time
See, She was the reason I wasn't going to class because I couldn't you know, get to sleep on time to make it in at 7:40 in the morning and sync my schedule up to Cypress Creek Senior High schools.
Thing is I was dating an older woman which is NORMAL for me and has been SINCE that point, I was in late 8th grade when we met I believe on the cusp just before Freshman year and she was getting out of Sophmore year into Junior.
I had no idea what I was in for.
my Ex was College bound, in way, I've always wanted a college girl so...
anyway, the second half of that year after we'd been together for quite awhile turned incredibly stressful for both of us, by The Second half I was skating on thin ice, Truancy officers had noticed I'd missed too much class and were threatening my parents custody over the issue so they started drugging me. MY ex never asked me to quit playing and We both were regulars in it, but It eventually meant Between having the second half of my night cropped off, and me playing for a few hours we didn't get as much time together and after that she eventually got sick of my lack of attentiveness by the time I was in the second half of Soph more year.
I had No idea the shit she was going through, as my bae was not a whiner, but there was so much she didn't tell me.
like I figured it out, that shit must have been it's own kind of stress hell for her, as she was applying to university after univeristy and driving out to see the universities and everything.
meanwhile my parents are drugging me, we're not connecting as much as we used to and she never asked me to quit playing but if she had I would have been inquisitive about what was really going on and figured it out and decided to oblige it.
And I guess, what I'm saying, in a big way is if one of my Hobbies has come between us, then, It's OK to ask me to drop it, especially, if, as happened to us, Something in your life changes, and as a consequence, your Stress levels rise and you need Extra Attentiveness.
I was reasonable attentive of my exes needs right up until I started getting drugged, at which point the only way to make time for her would have been to quit playing the game, but I didn't.
if she had asked though I think ultimately I would have maybe been somewhat resistant but, eventually I would have thought it through and decided to oblige her.
Because really at the end of day my goal in life is not to have the most bad ass characters in online video games, I like having that, but, I like having a girlfriend a lot more than I like having that.
Basically I wasn't there for her in one of the most stressful parts of her life and she was upset about it, I didn't realize I should have quit because I Was a dumbass teenager, and all of this to say, again, if my hobbies get between us and spending time together, ITS OK TO ASK ME TO MAKE TIME FOR YOU BY QUITTING.
