I'll talk to people who are supposedly interested in me but the moment they want to meet I disappear. Why? Doubt they'd want me anymore in person

A few years ago i was on a dating site. I ended up chatting with this girl for quite a while..she send me.pictures of her alot. We decided to meet. She was nothing like the pictures she sent me neither. It was her in the pics but she did something to them. Man thst chic was so much fun to be around. We got together. She lied to me though. I found out a year later thst she is hooked on Meth. She drank every single day also. I swear . She was never drunk and acting stupid. She was awesome. Dont cut yourself down. You are good enough..im sure some man would fall for you. Give it a chance. Just be your selve. This girl was very big also. Its the heart that we look at. I miss her still. We had so many good times together