how can i cut the crap out

If you show a girl that you're not needy; you make her comfortable; attract her; connect with her; have banter and humor; you know when not to joke; you know how to be seductive; you're confident, autonomous, and focused on your work, hobbies, interests, and social life; then a girl will be interested in you and she'll gradually put more and more effort into dating you. In the beginning, you'll be making the effort because you're initiating the conversation first. She doesn't know what kind of person you are yet. Don't ask for a relationship if it's only the first date or after a couple dates. If she doesn't reply to your messages, then it means that she isn't interested.