This doesn't justify their actions even 1% or anything, but I do feel a *touch* bad for all those old married dudes looking for sex here
Imagine being 50 years old or so, married with your kids all moved out. You did pretty well in life, essentially achieved the American dream, but time has taken its toll anyway. Your wife, for one reason or another, doesn't want to have sex anymore, and of course you have a moral duty to respect that. But she also doesn't want you to have sex with anyone else, which is unfortunate because your sex drive is still completely intact and also your self image is somewhat tied to your sexual activity like most dudes' unfortunately are.
The two morally acceptable choices in this situation are to either end your relationship with your wife to pursue the experiences you want out of life or to stay married and repress those sexual desires. But you know that she would hate you if you left her, it'd be a huge legal battle, and it would tear the family apart. So instead, you just stay quiet and suffer until eventually, the question dawns on you -- is a life of celibacy really what I want? And for some, the answer is no, and the strength of that answer overwhelms whatever moral conviction they had against cheating.
None of this is to say that cheating should be accepted, or that the wife is responsible in these situations. But I do feel very strongly, that it should be completely socially accepted to leave a partner who doesn't satisfy your needs. And frankly, the people who get seriously angry over that should be likened to pushy dickweeds who throw a tantrum when rejected, or incels on reddit fuming over hot women not wanting to shag them. The root problem is the same, after all -- these are people who believe they are entitled to someone else's affection (or at the very least, connection to them).
And to be clear, all of this applies to all genders equally; I simply used conventional gender archetypes bc I get the sense that these are the most common cases.
Edit: still probably shouldn't be acceptable to do so while kids, as that can be disruptive on their end
The two morally acceptable choices in this situation are to either end your relationship with your wife to pursue the experiences you want out of life or to stay married and repress those sexual desires. But you know that she would hate you if you left her, it'd be a huge legal battle, and it would tear the family apart. So instead, you just stay quiet and suffer until eventually, the question dawns on you -- is a life of celibacy really what I want? And for some, the answer is no, and the strength of that answer overwhelms whatever moral conviction they had against cheating.
None of this is to say that cheating should be accepted, or that the wife is responsible in these situations. But I do feel very strongly, that it should be completely socially accepted to leave a partner who doesn't satisfy your needs. And frankly, the people who get seriously angry over that should be likened to pushy dickweeds who throw a tantrum when rejected, or incels on reddit fuming over hot women not wanting to shag them. The root problem is the same, after all -- these are people who believe they are entitled to someone else's affection (or at the very least, connection to them).
And to be clear, all of this applies to all genders equally; I simply used conventional gender archetypes bc I get the sense that these are the most common cases.
Edit: still probably shouldn't be acceptable to do so while kids, as that can be disruptive on their end
