When you feel like you're being strung along, do you confront or let it slow fade?

I confronted. Was thinking of just letting it fade away but I think I prefer to be assertive. Fading away means you're still leaving the door open for them to string you along. Here's what I sent her:

Hey *name*, I think you're interesting, enjoy spending time with you, and would like to see where this goes, but I honestly don't feel like my energy is matched. I understand that you've been really busy lately and it could just be that, but so have I. I've had fun on our dates but ultimately am looking for something serious, and so here's me making my intentions clear! If you're also looking for the same I'd like to know :)

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WhateverWorks · 36-40 Best Comment

I’ve done both. I thought being assertive was the stronger option until I realized it’s just another bid for their attention they already were showing me they didn’t want to naturally invest. Whatever response that gave me was still me pushing for what I wanted, not what they wanted. I learned the best thing I could do was cut ties silently without any explanation/energy into them.

somedude15 · 26-30, M

@WhateverWorks I realized this too. She eventually said she wasn't feeling it which is what I was waiting to hear. Now I can move on to someone that has time. I should've just let it fade away, but the problem is that if I let it fade away I wouldn't give her a second chance, and I would feel tempted to use and dump her if she ever came back. Sounds bad but honestly I wouldn't be doing it intentionally, I'd just find myself unable to be interested in her. So I basically did this so she would t come back and I would stop hoping.

But yeah, I think you're definitely right, it makes more sense to take the hint and just move on with no explanation whatsoever.

Keepitsimple · 51-55, F

Too heavy for your age. Just enjoy being together.

somedude15 · 26-30, M

@Keepitsimple and so if I wasn't enjoying it anymore the logical thing would be to just let it go I guess. I'm learning.

hartfire

I think that's the perfect way to say it.
If she still plays the busy card, it indicates she has other priorities.
Always best to be with someone who feels the same interest in you.
You sound very sane and well adjusted.
I feel pretty sure you'll know it when you've found your match.

Roadsterrider · 56-60, M

How long have you been dating her, what is "more serious"? If you have been dating for 3 days, you need to lighten up, if it has been 2 years, you are probably on the right track.

somedude15 · 26-30, M

@Roadsterrider 2 months. I'm tired of waiting and hoping for her to decide if she has time for me.

Roadsterrider · 56-60, M

@somedude15 Then I would say that if you are tired of waiting, go for it and look for someone who moves closer to your pace.

wonkywinky · 51-55, M

Always confront.
I think two things you need to know.
1)Is this a sex thing,or are we going longer?
2)If a sex thing we need to get it done asap.

Carissimi · F

Thats not a slow fade. It’s a soft ultimatum.

somedude15 · 26-30, M

@Carissimi lol that's exactly what I said in the post, I don't like to slow fade, that's why I sent her that.

Carissimi · F

Oops sorry! I’m sleepy, and misunderstood your meaning. Good job! @somedude15

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