Do not introduce kids into the relationship, for a minimum of 1 year. My "don't go for another date" flag, is when a woman wants to introduce me to her kids instantly.
@ShadowWolf Well, it depends on the type of relationship you're looking for, doesn't it? My answer is related to people who want to have a relationship with a single mom. But if you do, then you can't act like it's her problem. People in relationships are supportive of each other.
@Northwest Ok so let me play devil's advocate here. Let's just say that a guy does not care about anything I've mentioned on this thread regarding issues with single moms, and doesn't care about having his own biological kids. And the guy is ok with dating a single mom. If the mom withholds her existing child for a year, and then it turns out adding the child to the dynamic a year later ruins everything because of many of the reasons I've mentioned, despite the relationship being good otherwise, then that is completely unfair to the guy who's just invested a year of his time only to find out the child hates him or is causing stress in the relationship. A year potentially wasted where the guy needs to make a decision to stay or go. Playing devils advocate, it's much better for the child to meet the new partner within the first 6 months. This way no one's time is wasted. That is my opinion.
I introduced my daughter after 6 months because splitting time between them was hard. Took another 6 months to readjust and now I'm seeing how petty he is to my daughter...
@MntoNc That's the way I view it as well. Considering I don't have any kids of my own, why would I want to raise another man's kid? I guess the only way I'd ever consider dating a single mother is if she would give me kids of my own as well, but I really don't need to date a single mother for that. Baby daddy involvement/drama no thanks.
@ShadowWolf the single most unselfish thing a woman can do for a man is have his baby . It totally ruins their bodies . It’s more trouble than it’s worth if you ask me .
@AthrillatheHunt Eh, depends on how you view it. Alot of women want to be mothers as well, so it's equally beneficial. I would consider dating a single mother to be more trouble than it's worth for the following reasons:
1. Emotional baggage, prior love who they had a child with, who is not your blood and will not carry on your genes. The bio dad may or may not be still invested, and it's a losing battle either way for the new partner. 2. Because it "ruins" their bodies, you are getting lesser sex, so the only reason to stay in is their personality, and if they are willing to provide you a child as well. This is why having children outside of wedlock is BAD. A child is a commitment, just like marriage. Better to have the two go hand in hand and have a "nuclear family" dynamic. Sex doesn't matter in this dynamic, the family and interpersonal relationships between them do. 3. The existing child will always question regarding their real parent, especially if they were cognizant (5 years old and up) when the father left, and the emotions that go along with that are just, too much. "Blood is thicker than water".
I remember my moms boyfriend of 7 years was such an amazing guy. I love him to fvvking death. He helped raise us after age 11 and treated us like his own. I still text him on the holidays. You have no idea how much your kindness can mean to a child. I wonder if he even knows the impact he made in my life
after my step dad was so abusive I felt like I had won the lottery
