I need advice about boys.

Moments like this, I wish I had an older sister to talk to. I'm 21 never been kissed never been on a date. I've been on a few dating apps. I talk to guys, in fact a lot of guys on these apps but only a few have really stood out. Every time it gets to the point of meeting, I chicken out and block them from all communication. I know it's because I'm scared. Scared because I don't have a lot of experience. scared I'll get my heart broken. I guess the main thing is... I don't understand why it's so hard to date. I'm scared I'm going to do or say the wrong thing. I didn't grow up with a mom who would tell me about boys or give me advice. We are just not close like that. It's just so frustrating because I sometimes just still feel like I'm a shy, scared 15 year old girl. I guess I just want my first kiss to be special with someone I love and who loves me. I'm just terrible at this dating thing. I just don't know how to let someone get to know me.