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I don’t want to date. I just want to magically end up in a long-term and emotionally-secure relationship with someone cute

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What..... you mean you dont wanna pay your dues by having to go thru a bunch of losers, weirdos and psychos before you meet the right one. LOL
@MayorOfCrushtown is there even a "right one" though?
Well, i had a one who was a pretty damn good fit, and i screwed it up. Im sure there are good matches out there, of course, i always have to go thru this ritual of dating all the wrong ones before i get to the good one. LOL