@Justpeace. I'm sorry to hear that exists in your family. I'm glad to hear you refuse to join in and change who you are regardless of what others feel or do around you. Thank you for that.
When I was a kid there was no hate in my family but there were racial jokes and the like. It bothered me. We had family friends who's races were included in the jokes! When I became an adult, my father was visiting me and said a racial joke at my dinner table. As soon as I got a moment alone with him (so he wouldn't loose face) I told him the time for those sorts of comments is over and to refrain from doing it again in my home. I didn't disrespect him but I made my point of view clear as a whistle.
Similar happened when I was in the Army. I am Cuban but I look typical white American so people would make comments around me that were completely inappropriate not realizing I was a minority. I joined the Equal Opportunity Board within 6 months of enlistment.