Police are investigating reports of a mysterious black-clad highway robber who has been stopping motorists on remote mountain roads, demanding snacks and refusing to accept anything healthy.
Motorists travelling through Bannau Brycheiniog have been warned to remain vigilant following a series of extraordinary incidents involving a mysterious masked bandit who has reportedly been terrorising drivers and demanding crisps, biscuits and other savoury snacks.
The suspect, described as approximately three feet tall, heavily built, dressed entirely in black and wearing what appears to be a white-trimmed balaclava, has been spotted on several remote roads across the national park.
Police initially believed they were dealing with a particularly short and unusually hairy armed robber, but subsequent investigations suggest the culprit may actually be a sheep.
PC Gareth ‘Sherlock’ Davies, 47, of Brecon, who wished to remain anonymous, said officers were taking the incidents extremely seriously.
“We’ve received fourteen reports of a masked individual standing in the middle of the road, refusing to move until motorists hand over food.”
“One woman was held hostage for nearly twenty minutes because all she had in the car was a packet of Ryvita.”
Terrifying Ordeal for Holidaymakers The first reported incident occurred last Tuesday when a couple from Birmingham were driving through the mountains on their way to a holiday cottage.
Derek Thompson, 63, who wished to remain anonymous, described the terrifying encounter.
“We came round a bend and there he was. Just standing in the road, staring at us through what looked like a balaclava.”
“I wound the window down and asked him to move. He didn’t say anything. Just looked at me.”
“Then he came right up to the car and started sniffing around the passenger window.”
“My wife offered him a banana, but he wasn’t interested. Then she opened a packet of cheese and onion crisps and he went absolutely mental.”
Mr Thompson claims the bandit seized the entire packet before disappearing into the undergrowth.
“He didn’t even say thank you. Just stood there chewing and looking at us as if we owed him money.”
The couple have since cancelled a planned visit to the Elan Valley.
Criminal Mastermind Suspected Police believe the suspect has developed a sophisticated system for identifying vulnerable motorists.
Officers say he appears to target vehicles travelling slowly, particularly those with open windows, children in the back or visible carrier bags from Greggs.
“We think he’s learned that cars contain food,” explained PC Davies.
“He’s particularly interested in people eating sandwiches and packets of crisps.”
“One motorist managed to escape by throwing a custard cream out of the window. Another tried offering him a protein bar, but he just looked disgusted.”
The suspect has reportedly been seen operating near Storey Arms, the A470 and several remote mountain roads.
Police believe he may be working with an organised gang of sheep, although there is currently no evidence that the others are aware of the operation.
Local Farmer Denies Knowing Suspect A local farmer has denied suggestions that the masked bandit belongs to his flock.
Dai ‘Sheep’ Williams, 59, of Libanus, who wished to remain anonymous, said he recognised the animal but insisted it had always been trouble.
“That’s bloody Bandit, that is. He’s been a nuisance since he was a lamb.”
“He was born with those white patches round his eyes and mouth. Looks like he’s wearing a balaclava.”
“We used to call him Zorro, but then he started stealing sandwiches off walkers, so we changed it to Bandit.”
Mr Williams said the sheep had developed a taste for human food after discovering a discarded packet of Wotsits near a popular walking route.
“Ever since then he’s been impossible. Won’t touch grass if he thinks somebody’s got a packet of Quavers.”
“He even turned his nose up at a perfectly good field of fresh clover last week.”
According to the farmer, Bandit has also learned to recognise the sound of crisp packets being opened from considerable distances.
“You can shout his name all day and he won’t come. Open a packet of Monster Munch and he’s there in about four seconds.”
Police Issue Public Warning Dyfed-Powys Police have reportedly advised motorists not to approach the suspect or attempt to negotiate with him.
A police spokesperson said the public should remain calm if confronted.
“We would advise drivers to keep their windows closed, avoid displaying food and under no circumstances attempt to reason with the individual.”
“He’s a sheep. He doesn’t understand reason.”
Police have also warned against offering the suspect snacks in exchange for safe passage, as this may encourage further incidents.
However, local residents say the advice is unrealistic.
Mair Evans, 72, of Sennybridge, who wished to remain anonymous, said she had already encountered the bandit three times.
“He stopped me on Monday and wouldn’t move until I gave him a digestive.”
“Then on Wednesday he was back again, so I gave him a chocolate Hobnob.”
“Yesterday he was waiting by the cattle grid. I swear he recognised my car.”
Mrs Evans says she now carries a separate packet of supermarket own-brand biscuits specifically for emergencies.
“I’m not giving him the good ones. He’s a criminal.”
Bandit Becomes Local Celebrity Despite the growing number of complaints, the masked sheep has developed something of a cult following on social media.
A Facebook page entitled The Bannau Bandit has reportedly attracted thousands of followers, with visitors sharing photographs of the animal and comparing their experiences of being robbed.
One tourist claims to have lost an entire multipack of Hula Hoops, while another says Bandit refused to let her pass until she surrendered two Jaffa Cakes and half a sausage roll.
A local café is considering introducing a special Bandit Breakfast, consisting of a bacon roll, packet of crisps and a biscuit, although staff insist no sheep will be allowed inside.
Meanwhile, Mr Williams says he has no intention of taking responsibility for the animal’s behaviour.
“He’s got forty acres of perfectly good grass, fresh water and a lovely view of Pen y Fan.”
“If he wants to stand on the A470 holding people up for a packet of Mini Cheddars, that’s his business.”
Police Close In on Suspect Officers are understood to be considering a major operation to apprehend the bandit using an unmarked police vehicle and a family-size packet of McCoy’s Flame Grilled Steak crisps.
However, concerns have been raised that the suspect may be able to recognise police vehicles.
“He seems particularly suspicious of white vans,” said PC Davies.
“We think he may have had previous dealings with a livestock transporter.”
Police have issued a description of the wanted individual:
Approximately three feet tall Black curly coat Distinctive white markings around eyes and mouth Four legs No known employment Last seen heading towards the A470 carrying what appeared to be a packet of salt and vinegar Squares At the time of going to press, the masked bandit remained at large.
Police say their latest attempt to apprehend him failed after the suspect ate the bait, escaped through a gap in a fence and returned fifteen minutes later demanding more.
A spokesperson confirmed that officers were now reviewing their tactics.
“We thought we were dealing with an ordinary sheep. We now believe we’re dealing with a hardened cereal offender.”
DAI SCOOP Dai Scoop has over three weeks experience as a journalist. He priviously worked as an Amazon Delivery Driver but left that role when his van and its contents disappeared. Courtesy of Welsh Bollocks
Upon further investigation, it was found that the real culprit was a haggis, cleverly disguised as a sheep to hide its true identity.
Local police continue to scour the countryside for the haggis miscreant, but they don't hold out much hope for its arrest. "We have never been able to capture a haggis," admitted the Chief of Police in a moment of candor.
