As Burns Night draws ever closer, the January Haggis Hunt has reached boiling point. Earlier today, hundreds of Haggis were believed to be cornered by Hunters in a remote Highland glen, escape routes cut off and the dinner plate looking all but certain.
With numbers dwindling and no cover near, the situation appeared grim, until the ground began to shake and the sound of hooves echoed through the hills. In a dramatic last minute intervention, Highland Coos rampaged in from all directions, charging the Hunters’ positions and forming a living shield around the trapped Haggis.
Following the unlikely alliance forged last year during the Battle of the Flamingos on the banks of Loch Lomond, the Haggis community has once again called upon its most formidable allies.
From the Highlands to the Borders, Highland Coos have descended in their hundreds, forming an unbreakable living barricade around known Haggis territories. At the front of the formation, elite defensive units of coos stand poised, the largest and strongest beasts Scotland has ever produced...a solid wall of muscle, horn and shaggy defiance.
Hunters attempting to advance have been brought to a complete standstill. There is no route through the coo lines, and no legal way around them. Highland Coos are a protected species, making any attempt to interfere not only futile, but criminal.
The result? Total gridlock. Hundreds of frustrated hunters now find themselves retreating from the glens, unable to move forward, with the only option to back down. Meanwhile, the Haggis remain safe, for now, sheltered behind their horned guardians.
As the final week before Burns Night approaches, panic is beginning to spread through butcher shops across the country. With no fresh meat arriving, shelves are empty, orders are cancelled, and anxious glances are being cast north toward the coo lined hills.
For the moment, the balance of power has shifted. The coos are holding. The hunters are heading home. And Scotland’s Haggis live to see another Night.
