BREAKING: Marshmallow Harvest Begins at Tunnock Brae The annual marshmallow harvest is officially underway on the lower slopes of Tunnock Brae near Kilmarnock, where vast white fields have reached peak fluffiness ahead of the 2026 teacake production run.
After 11 long months of careful Highland cultivation, the marshmallows have finally matured to full size. Farmers confirmed the crop reached optimal density overnight, triggering the narrow harvest window that occurs just once a year, before prolonged exposure to wind, rain and general Scottish weather begins to affect the outer fluff.
Marshmallows are grown this way across the world, forming in dense ground clusters and slowly expanding as they absorb moisture from the air. However, Scotland’s climate is considered ideal for the process, with regular rain, low sunshine levels and persistent mist allowing marshmallows to reach far greater size and softness than those grown in sunnier climates, where crops are suitable for standard marshmallow use but fail to achieve the softer texture required for Scotland’s teacakes.
The harvest itself is tightly controlled, with each marshmallow carefully lifted, shaped and graded on site. Any marshmallow gathered too early risks collapsing once cut, while overexposure to sun can cause premature firming, making it unsuitable for teacake production.
Once graded, the marshmallows are transported immediately under protective canvas to prevent exposure to sunlight, wind, or curious passers by.
Reduced to 39% of original (1540 x 1028)
While this might seem unnecessary in Scotland, producers warn that the country can experience an entirely random six minutes of sunshine at any moment, and it is never predictable. Even brief contact with direct light can cause surface stiffening, compromising the soft texture required for teacake centres.
Due to the high value of the crop, the fields are protected by armed security patrols operating 24 hours a day throughout the year. This is primarily to prevent incursions by the Haggis Community, who have a long standing interest in marshmallows and very little impulse control.
Security records show multiple attempted breaches in previous years, including fence tampering, shallow tunnelling, and coordinated approaches under heavy fog. One failed attempt involved disguises, a rope system, and an ambitious plan to “just take the wee ones.”
One security officer, speaking anonymously, confirmed that incidents in previous years led to a significant increase in patrols and fencing. “We don’t take chances anymore,” they said. “If there’s mist on the hill, we assume the haggis are already watching.”
Despite the heightened security and strict handling procedures, producers have reassured the public that there will be more than enough marshmallow to meet teacake demand for the year ahead, and that there is no need to panic buy.
Members of the public have been advised to keep their distance from the fields and follow all posted signage, with officials stressing that unauthorised marshmallow interaction will not be tolerated.
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including fence tampering, shallow tunnelling, and coordinated approaches under heavy fog. One failed attempt involved disguises, a rope system, and an ambitious plan to “just take the wee ones.”
“If there’s mist on the hill, we assume the haggis are already watching.”
