NEW AROUND SCOTLAND, THE SHEEP SPORRAN THAT NOBODY ASKED FOR BUT EVERYBODY’S BUYING.
Billboards have been turning heads and raising eyebrows across Scotland this week as Scottish designer Lewey Muitton unveils his latest creation, a sheep based sporran that’s causing quite the bleat on the high street.
Yes. A full bodied sheep. Worn front and centre. Exactly where a sporran traditionally sits. Exactly where you’re now looking.
The luxury accessory, described by the designer as “bold, pastoral, and un-ewe-sual”, has seen sales across Aberdeen skyrocket, with locals praising its craftsmanship, storage capacity, and uncanny ability to make folk suddenly look anywhere else.
But in a twist nobody saw coming, apart from literally everyone, the sporran has also sold out repeatedly in Wales, despite kilts not traditionally being worn there. Retailers report customers are buying it “for reasons we’re not asking abaaht”, with many choosing to wear it with jeans, over coats, or “just for the sheer baanter.”
Lewey Muitton insists there’s no hidden meaning claiming, “It’s simply about ewe-nique style, heritage chic, and celebrating the ewe-niversal bond between man and mutton.”
The Sheep Sporran comes in several finishes including Highland White, Lamb-orghini Leather, and the highly sought-after limited edition “Ewe-dition Luxe.”
Early adopters describe it as “shear brilliance”, “woolly extravagant”, and “the best thing to happen to crotch fashion since the day sporrans were invented.”
Experts predict the craze will continue to ram-page across the nation, with new matching accessories in development, including baa-ckpacks and hand-baags.
One thing’s for certain, whether you’re waiting for a bus, walking through town, or minding your own business, ewe-ll either love it or hate it, but you won’t forget it
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