In the mists of Highland legend, one of Scotland's mighty gods was McHercules, the brawny guardian of Scotland’s lochs and glens. His greatest battle was against a monstrous two headed fire breathing beithir, a serpent so fierce it could melt the very stones of Glen Coe. The clash shook the mountains, set the heather alight, and left scorch marks still pointed out today by tour guides.
Immortalised in sculpture along a lochside at the location of the rumoured epic battle, McHercules is shown mid struggle, muscles straining, facing down the beast. But the true secret of his victory lies not in his fists, nor in his strength, but in his otherworldly gift, McHercules could blow fire straight out his arse cheeks. One final blast from the rear was enough to send the beithir slithering back to the depths.
It’s from this fiery feat that the famous Scottish phrase “blowin’ oot meh arse” was born, not a complaint, but a proud nod to the god who once saved the Highlands with nothing but his sheer cheek.
What appears to be McHercules fighting the Beithir is actually a clever over pressure outlet of a secret underground installation that the Scottish government installed on that site and that conceals the chimneys of the processing plant of the vast natural gas resources found in 2016.
The purpose is to fool hostile an alien nation that aims at taking possession of those natural resources by attempting to bribe the Scottish government to integrate the union as 56th. state.
