SKY SHOWDOWN: The Flying Scotsman vs. The Flying Dutchman Only one gets to keep the “Flying” title… the other walks home.
In a dramatic clash of airborne egos and highly questionable engineering, The Flying Scotsman and The Flying Dutchman have officially agreed to settle an age old dispute, who truly deserves the “Flying” moniker, despite neither having wings, jets, or any business being airborne in the first place.
The rules? One sky race. From the Highlands to Holland and back. Loser gets permanently grounded and must rebrand as either The Rolling Scotsman or The Pedalling Dutchman.
Eyewitnesses reported both legends taking off this morning at precisely 9:45am. One, The Flying Scotsman, a one of a kind locomotive that uses groundbreaking Scottish technology to generate its own clouds, which it then steams across with fierce national pride. The other, The Flying Dutchman, a cursed ghost ship powered by wind, spite, and questionable nautical witchcraft.
Clouds parted as the two titans soared through the skies above the North Sea, trading insults via Morse code and bagpipe powered signal flares. Dutch authorities reported minor injuries after several airborne clogs rained down on a tulip farm. Meanwhile, Scots mistook the skybound chaos for the start of the apocalypse, then quickly downgraded it to “just another Tuesday.”
After a fierce mid air collision over the Firth of Forth, only one craft descended with dignity intact. The winner? The Flying Scotsman. It touched down in Edinburgh trailing blue steam and blaring Scotland the Brave at 140 decibels. The Dutchman? Now listed as a “national embarrassment” by Dutch air traffic control, and reportedly grounded until further haunting notice.
The Dutch Ministry of Transportation has issued an official apology and confirmed the name change: “From this day forth, The Flying Dutchman shall henceforth be known as The Pedalling Dutchman.” Meanwhile, Scotland celebrates its aerial supremacy with the world’s first government funded aerial pub crawl, featuring drones that deliver whisky between mountaintops, and a strict no sober landing policy.
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This was without counting on the flying White House, thanks to the gift from Qatar that enabled the US to compete. Guess what, Mr. T. will not accept a defeat. Enough defeats in the past...
